“Encourage one another…build each other up…” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
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Ted and I have celebrated over 20 years of marriage! Wow!
I remember SO clearly how absolutely excited I was to become Mrs. Ted Egly. I would talk endlessly, to anyone who would listen, about this amazing man. While we were dating, I would happily tell Ted how GOOD he looked, how well he spoke, how kind he was, how hard he worked, and what a great writer I thought he was.
Somehow, after getting married, I began to take things for granted instead of showing gratitude. It was easier to mention something that Ted was doing wrong, rather than tell him what he’s doing RIGHT! So, this post is for ME as much as it is for you. I needed a reminder to encourage my husband…and I thought maybe you could use one too.
It takes intentionality to pay attention to the good. However, if we LOOK for good we will FIND it. And the more we notice today, the more we will see tomorrow.
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So, whether you’ve been married 20 years or 20 days, here are six simple ways to encourage your spouse!
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1. Send a quick text
“I love you … thank you for working so hard for your family!”
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2. Make a list
Make a list of the reasons you love your spouse – then share the list with them! I wrote a list here and shared it with Ted and with all of you!
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3. Send a love letter or a card
Put in on their dest or mail to their work.
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4. Leave a sticky note
Write a word of love or encouragement and put it in his car, on his computer or in his lunch bag.
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5. Say THANK YOU!
Did your spouse do something that shouldn’t require a thanks? Thank them anyway! Everyone likes appreciation! I gladly accept a thanks for doing laundry or cooking dinner. So, thank your spouse for mowing, taking out the trash, or fixing something around the house.
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6. Speak well of your spouse in front of others!
Highlight something your husband has done well. It means so much for you to praise them in front of others. And by the way, this also makes YOU look good. When you are talking about what an amazing guy your husband is, others see that you made a good choice for marrying such an upstanding guy!
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If you are having a hard time being “thankful” for your spouse…speak to them as if they are the person you WANT them to be. Jesus called Peter a “rock” even though he was about to deny even knowing him. Jesus saw in Peter what he would become. We can do for our spouse what Jesus did for Peter, and what Jesus does for us, as well!
One last note – the BEST time to do this is when you are mad at your spouse. If you are in the middle of a disagreement…take a minute to reflect on what you love about the person you married. It takes the ‘sting’ out of the argument and reminds you that YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM!
Words of encouragement have power. The power to build, strengthen, heal and inspire!
Encourage your spouse today!
Love, Kathryn
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Two phenomenal marriage books I would recommend are:
Both give practical advice for strengthening and improving any marriage.
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