I was drowning in distance learning… and then I found a life vest

I’m a full-time mom with a teaching degree. When COVID-19 forced my four sons to do full-time home school (aka: distance learning), I thought: ‘No Problem, I can handle this!’

I WAS WRONG. 

It was so …very … hard!

Our first week of full-time distance learning was a train wreck. 

If you would have peeked into our home, you would have (unfortunately) seen:

• Yelling, 
• fighting, 
• frustration, 
• anxiety, 
• confusion, 
• crying, and
• an iPad being thrown to the ground by an overwhelmed child and hitting another child who was seated on the ground.   

By the end of the week I was so exhausted I thought I had the Coronavirus! I went to bed with a pounding head and an aching body.

SOMETHING HAD TO CHANGE!  

No…

EVERYTHING had to change.  

CHANGE had to start with ME.

My husband reminded me that STRESS is often due to not feeling like we have control and/or navigating a lot of change. Yep. That described us! He went on to share what we DO have control over is our: attitude, outlook, and the the actions we take.

I took the weekend to rest, reflect, and re-assess. I needed a higher perspective on home schooling my children.  I had to remember that CHANGE is hard. Navigating this brand NEW learning environment and having to immediately perform was causing us to all feel stressed.

I am a person who loves to get things DONE. I like efficiency, and I enjoy checking off boxes. My preferences were NOT aligning with home schooling, and children are not efficient.  

My GOAL to KEEP UP! and GET IT DONE! was wrecking our relationships. Very little actual learning occurred and we were all unhappy.

When the goal is to “Get it DONE” there isn’t time to absorb, discuss, reflect and learn. 

Here were my new goals and actions:

1. Distinguish between controllable and uncontrollable.

I can’t control the fact that we are in a new learning situation, I CAN control how I act, as well as my level of preparation and time management.

2. I will prioritize my relationships with my kids over the assignments. 

I will pause and think before I react to something my kids say or do.

3. Apologize.

I told my children I was sorry for being upset, frenzied, and impatient.

4. Realize we are all learning something new!

Remind the kids we are ALL new to this, and we were going to work on being patient and kind to each other. We would give each other grace.

5. Familiarize myself with their technology, passwords, and schedules.

6. Get more organized and prepared.

We kept their school stuff in one area.

7. Communicate with the teachers.  

Remember the son who was so overwhelmed he threw his iPad? I told the teacher that our goal is no longer going to be to get everything done. We were going to slow down so he had time to absorb the information, reflect, and learn. She was okay with the fact that he may not get every assignment done.

8. Get more sleep.

The kids will be in bed before 9 and will wake up by 8 AM.

9. Come prepared and ready to work by 9 AM.

iPads are charged, everyone is fed, pencils are sharpened, and we’ve looked over the plan for the day.

10. Re-prioritize:

• Focus 100% on their learning from morning until lunch. I will try not to get distracted by housework or my phone.
• Switch my desire from ‘checking all the boxes’ to slowing down and really learning.
• Choose quantity over quantity.
• Less focus on grades, stronger focus on growing.

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These 2 things helped: 

1. Prayer and Scripture

I ask God for help ALL DAY LONG reading my Bible fills my spirit and renews my strength.

2. Getting input from others:

• Discussing better practices with my husband
• Asking others what their best practices were and what was working for them (NOTE: talk to people who are more effective or more experienced)
• Reading books or listening to podcasts that re-focus my attention to the big picture. 

“Teaching from Rest” is an excellent book that walks you through how to teach with peace rather than frenzy! The author asks the question: If you knew your child was guaranteed to get into Harvard, but your relationship would be wrecked in the process, would you agree to that?

Are the days EASY now? NO!

It’s still a day-by-day, hour-by-hour challenge. 

Do I feel more peaceful and prepared? Yes! 

I’ve learned that most change can be bad in the beginning, messy in the middle, and extraordinary in the end.

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A few SMALL changes made a BIG impact!

How about you? What are you learning? How are you staying sane? What’s helped you? Leave a comment and thanks for reading!