2 In Faith/ Finding our place/ Inspiration/ My Journey

Rediscovering Joy: A Journey of Self-Reflection, Resilience, and Faith

In the winter of 2018, I found myself in an emotionally challenging place, feeling disheartened and discouraged. We had recently uprooted our lives (again!) to a new state that was experiencing one of the coldest winters in years, I had very few friends. The days were cold and dark and the boys continued to pass around every type of cold. The demands of raising four boys was high and my energy was low. I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The sense of isolation began to gnaw at my spirit. As the days passed, I struggled to find motivation and meaning, and know my purpose in this new place.

I’m normally a person who’s positive and sees the bright side, but I couldn’t in this season. What made it harder was comparing myself – to myself! The person I’d been just a year ago was so different than the girl I saw in the mirror.

The previous year was marked by remarkable growth and progress:

I set big goals and accomplished most of them.
I published a children’s book.
My blog had a strong following.
I loved my job and felt like I was making an impact.
We lived in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Then all of that changed. We moved to a new place. I no longer wanted to set goals, to write, and was living in (what felt like) Antarctica.

Isn’t life supposed to move up and to the right?

It was certainly moving to the ‘right’ as time continued its relentless march forward. The “up” part seemed elusive. Why had things shifted so drastically from the year before?

In my quest for answers and to regain a sense of equilibrium, I realized I needed to make some changes. It was time to unplug from the constant noise, to halt both the input and output, and just be. After all, we are human beings, not human doings.

I took a break from writing and blogging. I removed Facebook and Instagram from my phone. I unsubscribed from the podcasts that left me discouraged and overwhelmed.

Instead, I listened to positive music, I played with my boys, I read my Bible and a couple of encouraging, life-giving books. I carved out time to make new friends.

To burst out of a cold, dark winter… Into the brightness and life of spring takes a lot of SHOVELING of gray thoughts that have become a blizzard in our minds… So thick we can’t even see our hands in front of our face.
Deb Freeman

Through this process, I learned a valuable lesson: Life doesn’t always follow a linear path. It ebbs and flows, bringing both good and challenging times. It oscillates between loneliness and fullness, happiness and sadness. The lows serve to deepen our appreciation for the highs.

Life is like a book. You take it one chapter at a time. Often one page at a time or one paragraph at a time. Some paragraphs are written better than others.

What I WANTED my life to look like was different from ‘reality.’

My previous assessment of life was a linear progression. Growth and more growth! Life and more life! Up and further up! Add, don’t subtract.

However, I’ve come to understand that ‘reality’ is far more complex. Life involves a series of steps forward, interspersed with occasional steps backward, sideways meanders, and even ‘exhilarating’ loop-de-loops.

In a world characterized by constant change, I’m thankful for a God who never changes. Who’s love is always certain.

I am deeply grateful for the nourishing wisdom found in the pages of the Bible, for the solace and inspiration that uplifting books and music provide. My heart brims with gratitude for the friendships that have woven their way into my life and the ‘date nights’ shared with Ted at new restaurants. I’m grateful for the ways my boys make me laugh and how they teach me knew things. I love that nature soothes and time heals. Every day that passed made me stronger, more able to live in (and even love!) this new place.

Look for the good, even in the dark. Once you train your eyes for little glimpses of goodness, you’ll get better at seeing them.
Shauna Niequist

Each of these elements brought me back to a place of joy. In the midst of this journey, I rediscovered that my truest calling was wife, mother, and cherished child of God. All other pursuits, at this moment in time, occupy the periphery.

How about you? What sustains you during life’s challenging moments? Where do you find hope and support? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment by clicking on the little box by the title.

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Here are 2 books I found LIFE-GIVING:

1. Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole

I opened the book and instant tears as I read:

“Have you ever moved to a new place or entered a new environment where no one knew who you were, what you could do, or what dreams ignite your soul?”

(How could this author read my mind?) She goes on to say:

“Have you ever moved from leader to learner? Went from being sought out to left out?

Potential seems to hibernate and you wonder if spring will ever come? Praiseworthy strengths become dormant.

Did you realize that 90% of Jesus’ life was spent in obscurity? Only ten percent was in the public eye. And all of His life was indestructible. When we state our desire to “be like Jesus” we are usually not referring to his anonymous years. Jesus hidden years empowered him to live an eternally fruitful life.

Why would Jesus announce the birth of His precious Son with a full angelic choir, then hide this priceless Gift for three decades? What is hidden is not unimportant.

For instance, when a baby is hidden in the womb, those months are priceless and formative. If the baby is removed from the hidden place, the results can be tragic.

Jesus’ hidden years gave him time to grow and become. It was sacred. Time for rest. Unapplauded but not unproductive. Hidden years are the surprising birthplace of true spiritual greatness.”

The author suggests how to rest:

“Take long walks through the woods. Paint a picture no one will see. Watch the stars. Wander through an art museum. Play piano when only God can listen. Write in your journal. Plant a garden.”

Savor the anonymous season. Respect it’s potential.
-Alicia Britt Chole

This book was everything I needed for that challenging season. If you are in a “new, waiting, or starting over” season – Anonymous may be the perfect book for you!

2. I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working by Shauna Niequist

This book shares Shauna’s journey back to joy in the midst of some really challenging circumstances. Here are bits of advice she gives:

“Get outside and be on the lookout for beauty, especially in nature, read books for comfort. Fresh air helps everything. The world is still good, still beautiful, still interesting and worth savoring. God is still good, still faithful, still kind.

Keep walking, keep loving, keep writing, keep praying. Keep learning, keep forgiving, keep apologizing, keep moving forward. Keep inviting, keep listening, keep opening my arms to all of life.

It doesn’t help to pretend everything is okay. Tell the truth. Allow yourself to be supported by friends and family.

I trust more deeply in the goodness of God than I ever have. I’m more aware of the darkness and more grateful for the light.

I’m learning home isn’t singular. You don’t lose one, instead, your world and your heart expand with each new home and new set of experiences. The old ones stay and the new ones make your heart and your world bigger.“

Both books brought me SO MUCH JOY as I realized I am NOT alone. Others have been through similar challenges and came out stronger. And God is always with me, cheering me on.

(Books are affiliate links)

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October 26, 2023 By Kathryn

1 In 2021/ My Journey

Why you gotta be so rude? Dealing with difficult people.

Have you had anyone be unexpectedly rude to you? Maybe a brash comment at the grocery store, a mean email, or an unkind text.

It happened to me recently and it HURT.

Someone sent me the most unkind email, filled with accusations and name calling. I was SHOCKED!

My emotions flared and I wanted to respond in anger. I had a few choice words I typed up and REALLY wanted to send. Instead, I hit delete.

I chose to NOT reply with an email, but instead, to talk to this person face-to-face.

I really thought we could talk, work things out, and come to an understanding.

Unfortunately, this person was very unkind to my face as well.

You’ve probably been in a situation like this. If not, you may be in the future. Even if you usually get along with everyone, occasionally there will be RUDE people who will shock you with how they talk to/treat you.

It’s a good idea to decide how to respond NOW, before you are in the heat of the moment.
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After this happened to me, I thought it would be worthwhile to write about some of the best and worst ways to handle a situation or difficult person like this.

Here are recommendations for what to do and what NOT to do.

What NOT to do:

1. Don’t respond to unkind words with unkind words

This is hard. When I received the rude email, I wanted to respond with equally unkind words. I had to force myself to delete them. It feels good to write something equally unkind, but it DOES NOT HELP the situation.

2. Do not gossip about the person with other people

This is also hard. I wanted to share this person’s unkindness with everyone. I wanted to get others on MY TEAM. I wanted to justify myself.

Unfortunately, that only fuels the fire and gets people involved that do not need to be involved. It can make things a BIGGER issue than necessary.

Plus, being known as a person who talks negatively makes you lose respect with those with whom you are speaking. People begin to wonder if you are talking about THEM behind THEIR back.

If you MUST talk to someone, talk to a TRUSTED friend who is UNRELATED to the situation. I talked to my husband and he gave me a hug, validated my feelings, then helped me have compassion toward this person.

3. Do not try to get even or get revenge

After this person treated me so poorly, ideas of how I could get revenge raced through my head. (I’m human!!) Again, I took a deep breath and asked myself:

Will acting on this negative emotion help the situation? Will it move us toward a BETTER place?
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What you should do:

1. Have compassion

When a person is mean, we must decide to respond with compassion. We have no idea how their day, their year, or their life has been, or what is causing them to act this way. Repeat the word, “compassion” to yourself (or in your head) as your emotions start to flare.

There is not an easy way to become more compassionate. We become more compassionate as we walk through the fire and practice extending compassion to people who have been rude or hurtful. Fluent compassion comes one decision at a time.

2. Try to connect with the person face-to-face. If that’s not possible, pick up the phone and make a call.

When you receive an unkind comment, text or email, it’s easy to want to respond with unkind words. HOWEVER, choose the high road, even if it causes elevation sickness.

3. Take a deep breath

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
Victor Frakl

When you are angry and wanting to say or do something unkind, take a deep breath to give yourself a moment to think/pray/pause. Taking a deep breath allows us to get out of fight-or-flight mode.

4. Speak and act kindly toward them

Once again – HARD! It’s easier to walk away or respond in anger. However, a smile and kind, calm words are often what is needed.

I find that asking God to love THROUGH me helps when I feel no love for a particular person. I ask for His help and His words when dealing with a difficult person or difficult situation.

5. Find something you can ALL agree on

When your emotional responses take the high road and line up with your best self, you kick off a virtuous cycle where your thoughtful responses to difficult people, in aggravating situations, actually make things BETTER!
-Tommy Newberry

When I tried to respond kindly, the other person continued to be mean. Ted came to the rescue and I watched/listened in fascination. He brought the conversation up above the current dilemma and found something we could ALL agree on…and coupled it with an assumptive close. The intent was to help us rise above the fight-or-flight mode, and find common ground. He said:

“I think we would all agree that we want a positive and friendly relationship going forward.”
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Thankfully, we could all agree to that…and it brought some peace in this difficult conversation.

6. Pray for them

Every time I feel anger toward this person, I try to say a prayer for them. I’m not sure why this person was mean, but I will assume they’ve been hurt or are hurting, and could benefit from a prayer.

7. Find a mediator

Occasionally, the ‘unkind person’ is someone with whom you have an ongoing relationship. This is the time to find a mediator. Ask the person if they’d be willing to meet with you at a neutral place, where you could discuss the situation with a mediator. This outside person/mediator can help you understand each other and come to a resolution. You can find a mediator at your local church or counseling center.

8. Don’t let their unhappiness steal YOUR joy

If it comes down to experiencing JOY or experiencing the negative emotions we believe we deserve, what’s it going to be?
Tommy Newberry

This person’s rudeness completely stole my joy and made me cry. However, I didn’t stay mad. I felt the hurt, then I moved on. I did not hold on to those negative thoughts and emotions. The other person can choose to live with anger, but I will choose to live with joy.

I am CHOOSING not to dwell on the mean words, or take it personally, so that I can preserve MY joy.

Thanks for reading! Save this post and refer back to it as needed. Though I wrote these words, I’ve had to re-read them to remind myself how to continue to take the high road.

Is there something that helps you deal with rude people? Especially when it’s directed at YOU?! Leave a comment!

Thank you for reading, please consider subscribing.

An EXCELLENT resource in dealing with difficult people is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This is a book I could read or listen to every year. I feel like every person should have a copy in their library. Listen to it in the car:

Want more? Read 7 tips for more Joy.

Click here to read the story of a time when my son was getting bullied, and how the situation changed with one conversation.

July 7, 2021 By Kathryn

4 In Memories/ Motherhood/ My Journey/ Raising boys

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was approaching and as a mom of busy little boys, I was wishing for three things:

A clean house,
A little pampering,
A good night’s sleep.

I planned in advance so that Mother’s Day would be the best ever:

I scheduled someone to clean my house a couple days before Mother’s Day.
I invited a couple friends to meet me at the nail salon to get our nails done.
A good night’s sleep was very unlikely, but a girl can hope and dream, right? (pun intended)

Little did I know that it would be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mother’s Day/week.

Thursday morning a cleaning lady was to arrive at my house at nine am. I LOVED the idea of having a clean house for Mother’s Day weekend. I’d be able to play with my kids while someone else cleaned the toilets – YAY! What a gift.

The morning came and went, and no one showed up. I called and they had forgotten to add me to the schedule. No one would be coming.

I wasn’t going to have a clean house for Mother’s Day.

That’s okay…at least I’d get some time that night with some girlfriends and get my nails done!

Ted would take care of the boys after a busy day at work. He would put them to bed so I could have the evening with my girlfriends.

Well, traffic was really bad that night, and Ted got home late. The minute he walked in, I passed him the baby, and headed out the door.

I rushed into the nail salon and found my friends already getting their nails done. I sat in an open chair next to them.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” the manager said, “we are closing in 15 minutes and aren’t doing any more nails tonight.”

My heart sank. No pretty nails for Mother’s Day.

I chatted with my friends while they finished getting their nails done, and we walked out together as the salon closed. We weren’t done talking, and it was cold and raining outside, so I suggested we sit in my car to carry on our conversation. We chatted for another hour and then I tried to start my car – it was completely dead.

Unfortunately, none of us had jumper cables and we could not call our husbands to help. They were all home with sleeping children.

We looked around for a kind person who may happen to still be out on this cold, dark, wet night. We spotted one person. I asked him for help and miraculously (like an angel!?), he came over with jumper cables, started my car, and we all made it home safely.

Friday morning I got up early. I had a Mother’s Day Tea to attend and wanted to have time to take a shower and put on nice clothes. I got myself ready, then got each of the boys ready. As I was putting our baby into his carseat to leave… he spit up all over me. All through my hair, down my shirt, my skirt, and onto my shoes.

I frantically searched my closet to find another outfit to wear, quickly wiped the spit up out of my hair, and raced into my first Mother’s Day Tea … just in time.

Around 3 AM on Mother’s Day morning, I woke up to the sound of Clark crying. I went in to check on him. He had thrown up – all over himself, his pajamas, and his bed.

This wasn’t the Mother’s Day morning or good night’s rest I had hoped and wished for.

In fact, I decided it was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Mother’s ~~Day~~ … week!

I lifted Clark out of the messy bed, gave him a warm bath, and put him in clean pajamas. I changed his sheets, tucked him back into bed, said a prayer, and rubbed his back until I thought he was asleep.

I crept out of Clark’s room, thinking about how tired I was, and that I’d probably only get another hour or two of sleep before the baby woke me up, when I heard the sweetest words:

‘Happy mudder’s day, mama.”

In spite of Clark being sick and tired, he somehow remembered that it was Mother’s Day.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that my FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS had blinded me to my FIRST WORLD BLESSINGS!

In spite of how bad things are going, we can find something to be grateful in every situation.

My house may be messy, but it’s warm and it’s ours.
My nails might not be painted, but my hands are strong enough to hold and care for my children.
My car might have died, but I have a car to take my kids where we need and want to go.
My kids are healthy. When they spit up/throw up – I have extra clothes and sheets – and a washing machine and dryer to clean the laundry.
I have a husband who cares for me and our boys so that I can get away to be with girlfriends.
I have friends that sit and chat with me. Then they stayed with me, in the cold rain, until my car got started again! And bonus – they are friends who encourage me to be a better wife and mom. (PRICELESS!)
And the biggest blessing of the week…I GET to celebrate Mother’s Day because I have children!

Now that I look back on all my Mother’s Days…this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mother’s Day, was actually my favorite one. It allowed me put things in perspective and see the gifts and blessings I so easily take for granted.

When I began focus on my blessings, I realized that this was a …

WONDERFUL, fantastic, so good, very blessed Mother’s Day!

Don’t let 1st world problems make you forget your 1st world BLESSINGS!

And by the way, while I tried to plan the perfect Mother’s Day week – Ted planned a really sweet Mother’s Day.

He got me flowers. He had the boys color me pictures. He picked up some delicious food so I didn’t have to cook. He told me to get away for a few hours to read and relax.

While I was gone, not only did he take good care of the boys – the house was clean when I got home!!

It really was a WONDERFUL, fantastic, so good, very blessed Mother’s Day!

What about you? What gift might you be taking for granted? Do you have a favorite Mother’s Day memory? Leave a comment.

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Thanks for reading! You may be interested in this related post: Finding Joy in the Motherhood in the Mess

May 7, 2021 By Kathryn

0 In 2019/ Book Review/ Faith/ My Journey

How Muslim culture influenced my Christian parenting

Read to the end for a chance to win a free book!

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Quresh

I recently read the book Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus and was deeply impacted by the way Muslim parents instill their faith into their children.

Muslim mothers begin reading from the Quran each and every day, out loud, to their children from the time they are born.
Often the FIRST book their children read is the Quran.
Children memorize large portions of the Quran.
Muslim families are a part of a strong Islamic community.

Their Islamic beliefs are often so engrained that they do not even QUESTION whether their faith is based on truth. Instead, they carry on the same beliefs and traditions with their children – reading from, teaching, and memorizing the Quran from infancy to adulthood.

This book left me asking if I’m teaching my children about the Christian faith as passionately and faithfully as Muslim parents.

As I read further into the book, the author (Nabeel Qureshi) shares how he became best friends with a guy in college who was a Christian. The two of them had a mutual respect because of their strong faith in God. As they grew in their friendship, they began to challenge each other’s faith.

As Nabeel did research to defend his Islamic faith, he began to realize that he COULD NOT defend it. The more he studied, the more he realized that there was no truth behind his Islamic faith.

After lots of research, and even a prayer for the one true God to reveal Himself, Nabeel chooses to become a Christ Follower!

This book challenged me as a mother to teach my kids the WHY behind WHAT we believe.

We have a defendable faith.

Our Christian faith is based on a solid foundation of historical truth.

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus made me decide to read:

Talking with your kids about God, written by Natasha Crain.

The author covers the evidence for the existence of God, how science confirms the God of the Bible, the nature of God (love, and justice), how Christianity is different from other religions, and how all these things apply to us and the world around us.

If you want to talk to your children about why Christianity is true, or you just need to solidify your own worldview, I highly recommend this book!

I want to read this author’s other book, Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side: 40 Conversations to Help Them Build a Lasting Faith, next!

Click here to check out her awesome blog – Christian Mom Thoughts.

~~I’m giving away my copy of Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus. If you’d like to win this book – just share this post on Facebook!~~

The contest runs until November 25th, 2019.

WINNER – Lisa E. – Congratulations Lisa!

I’ve written a post with some simple tips for teaching your kids about God. Click here to read!

Subscribe so you don’t miss a post!

The books recommended are Amazon Affiliate Links. If you choose to purchase one, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

November 18, 2019 By Kathryn

3 In Motherhood/ My Journey/ Raising boys

The struggle with housekeeping…

Oh how I wish I were tidy.

I love it when my house is clean. I feel more relaxed and enjoy my home more when I see clean surfaces and organized rooms. What I want and what I have (most days) seem opposite.

Housework can make me feel like I’m drowning. If I stop and reflect on all that I need to do to have a spotless home (from a clean fridge to clean closets), I feel overwhelmed.

When I cook, my kitchen is a hurricane. I was mortified the other day when a neighbor walked in and saw the mess. I was too humiliated to even apologize.

I feel guilty hiring someone to help – I shouldn’t need to because I don’t have a ‘job.’ I should have time to keep up with it all. But I’m struggling.

If any of you text and say, ‘I’m coming over in an hour’ … I will spend the next hour cleaning because I want you to think I always keep my house clean. I don’t clean to be hospitable, but for my own darn pride.

I visited a friend in Nashville once and when I walked into her house she said, ‘It’s not always this clean, I just had a housekeeper here.’ Her honesty was refreshing.

Another friend invites me into her home anytime …messes and all. She doesn’t apologize for it or expect me to have my house clean when she comes over.

Then there are the friends who always seem to have SPOTLESS houses. How? I want my house to look like that too!

I realize that I’m in a season of life that is busy and messy. My kids will grow up and (perhaps) I’ll miss the fingerprints, crumbs, and dirty socks.

I’m a person who would MUCH rather play than clean. If there’s a choice between a game or a chore – pass me the cards. If I have to choose between an adventure or dishes – Um, bye!

I can go from one activity to the next without cleaning up first. I think: ‘I will do it tonight.’ But then I’m too tired at night! I’m (slowly) learning to pause between activities and allow time to clean up. I’ve recently found an easy way to implement “chores” so that my boys carry some of the load. Click here to read about it.

I honestly don’t want to publish this post because it’s making my heart race putting this out there. However, I want to be more real and less prideful. I need to invite you into the mess.

I want to clean for the sake of hospitality, and with gratitude for the beautiful home God has blessed me with..not because I want you to think I’m a superwoman.

Feel free to come by un-announced. Walk into the kitchen, scan the fridge and ask to use the upstairs bathroom…it will humble me. Or, ask for a cleaning rag. I’m happy to let you help make my house as clean as I want it to be.

If you are a mom who’s figured out the secret to keeping the house tidy…send me all the tips!

PS – Since writing this post, I have found a housekeeper that comes once a month. She’s way better than the previous one (me).

Click here to read: Three Cheers for Chores

July 19, 2019 By Kathryn

2 In Colorado/ Colorado Springs/ Faith/ Inspiration/ Joy/ Memories/ Moving/ My Journey/ Peek into our Week/ Things to do in Colorado/ Traveling

My Volunteer Vacation

One year ago, New Life Church was hosting an amazing children’s/family ministry conference called The Gathering. It was during this conference that my husband accepted a job with Target, which meant we’d be moving to Minnesota.

I love Colorado, and I also loved working with this team at New Life. I was struggling with the idea that this chapter would be ending soon.

On the last night of the conference (last year), each person who helped lead the conference was given a box of cereal from Dr. Michelle Anthony – my (former) boss and Family Ministry Pastor. She gave me a box of S’mores and told me that she would like S’more of me. It took everything in me not to burst into tears right then. Just a couple days later, I’d be sharing the news that we’d be moving and she’d be getting S’less, not S’more.

I went home from the conference and shared how I was feeling with Ted. He encouraged me to come back to the conference in 2019 and volunteer.

So this year, I went to Colorado for a Volunteer Vacation! I came to assist, learn, and connect with my New Life friends!

When I first arrived in Colorado Springs – tears filled my eyes. This city has such a special place in my heart, and I was so happy to be back.

The morning of the conference, I drove over to New Life Church with my friend Holly, and helped with the last minute details. All morning I was greeted with love and hugs from friendly faces. It was pure joy.

Because my kids weren’t with me, I got to focus my whole week helping wherever needed … AND catching up with SO many dear people. I loved every minute of it.

In a season of all things new, spending several days in a place that holds so much familiarity & treasured relationships, felt like a well-timed gift.

Though I didn’t sleep much, I came home from my Volunteer Vacation refreshed and full.

If you have some vacation time coming up and aren’t sure what to do – consider a “Volunteer Vacation!” Take the opportunity to go somewhere and help with something. Every non-profit organizations can use an extra set of hands. And when you make time to bless someone or something, you always get blessed in return!

Here is an (affiliate) link to a book filled with ideas on short term adventures that will benefit you and others!

July 9, 2019 By Kathryn

10 In Minnesota/ Motherhood/ My Journey/ Things to do in Minnesota

How to Not HATE Winter!

I’ve hated winter my entire life.

In fact, I’ve never fully enjoyed FALL because I knew that winter was lingering just around the corner.

The day after I graduated high school – my first day of ‘freedom’ – I moved from my home state of Indiana to Florida. I spent five glorious years there – THAWING OUT. I also earned my bachelor’s degree…but mostly just thawed out.

After college…life kept moving me north…and further north.

When my husband and I talked about moving to Minnesota, I’m not sure if I cried or laughed when I discovered that moving to Minneapolis is NORTH OF Toronto, CANADA! Okay, I cried.

I didn’t know anything about Minnesota except that it was cold – really, really cold. Have a mentioned that I hate the cold?

However, I’ve finally decided that I will NO longer live in survival mode. I’ve decided to learn how to not hate winter.

I did lots of reading, some research, and asked so many people how to not only survive winter, but thrive through winter.

I discovered that it is possible to not hate winter!!

Winter can actually be…dare I say it…DELIGHTFUL!?!?!

So …

HOW do you ENJOY winter? Even a really COLD, really LONG winter?

Here is what I’ve learned:

1. DRESS FOR IT!

I realized that I hated being COLD more than I hated winter. If I wear the right things…I can begin to ENJOY winter!

My sister gave me a fur-lined trapper hat and it is heavenly. Thank you Krista!

I went shopping on Amazon and bought a hat for every person in my home. We LOVE them!

It was probably in Kindergarten when I was taught to wear a hat on cold days, and all these years later…I finally listened. They were right.

Even the ornaments know how to dress to be warm in winter.

2. ENJOY DOING THINGS THAT CAN ONLY BE DONE IN WINTER!

Go sledding, skiing, ice skating! Make snowmen, snow angels, and snow slushies!

Learn how to do things that you can only enjoy in winter.

When your kids ask to go sledding, say YES and then JOIN THEM. You won’t believe how much fun you’ll have. I know, it takes lots of effort to get everyone bundled up, but it’s worth it! You will feel like a kid again – laughing and enjoying every second. Sledding down and then climbing back up those hills is great exercise and invigorating.

Ice skating and snow skiing are fun winter sports.

Even taking a walk on a cold winter day can be amazing. Just after it snows, put a child on a sled and go for a walk – it’s good for you and great fun for them!

Bonus tip – There are things you DON’T have to do in the winter – yard work! No weeding, no trimming, no mowing!

3. TAKE IN THE BEAUTY!

When the snow falls…everything is pristine and beautiful. The leaves are off the trees and you can explore areas you’ve never seen before.

Winter is not something you need to dread. It can be enjoyable, fun, and something you can actually look forward to!

So who’s with me? Who is going to stop hating winter and instead, find the joy in the season?

Click here to read this post: Minnesota (a.k.a. COLD WEATHER) Must Haves!

What you’ll need to wear to stay warm so that you can truly ENJOY winter!

And if you haven’t already, please subscribe!

Click here to find Winter/ Minnesota MUST HAVES!

February 21, 2019 By Kathryn

0 In Memories/ My Journey

1990s College Memories

I had an amazing English College professor in college. I always thought I was more of a math person, but this English professor changed that. She enjoyed her work, and that joy flowed out of her and on to me! (Joy has a way of doing that!)

One simple thing I learned from my English professor is that “alot” is NOT a word. You write it like this: I learned a lot. Two words. I’m not sure why I didn’t learn that until my freshmen year of college, but I thought it would be helpful to share with you. I’ve read your posts on Facebook and there are a LOT of people who think ‘alot’ is a word! It’s not. And your welcome :).

When I was in college, we did research papers without the internet. This meant we had to drive or walk to an actual libraryand check out real-life books. So many HEAVY books and so much reading. There was no google or keyword search. We used something called a Table of Contents and an index section.

Our very first paper was to choose any classic book and write a paper on it.

Click to read what BOOK I chose and how it impacted my life!

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And do you have a college memory that you want to share? A favorite class? Something you learned? Something that’s totally outdated now!? Leave me a comment!

January 27, 2019 By Kathryn

5 In Faith/ Inspiration/ Motherhood/ Moving/ My Journey

5 ways to Cure a Lonely Heart

Feeling lonely?

I am too.

Though we are the most interconnected generation of all time, we are the loneliest generation as well.

We have hundreds, maybe thousands of ‘friends’ on social media, but rarely spend time with people one-on-one, eye-to-eye, really getting to KNOW each other.

This pandemic’s made it worse! We are currently asked to STAY HOME and STAY APART.

We may text and comment on pictures, but rarely have a heartfelt, deep, face-to-face conversation. And when was the last time you HUGGED someone (besides your children)?

After moving to Minnesota, I’d been feeling lonely. My loneliness was causing me to be on social media MORE, but that pseudo-connection left me feeling emptier and lonelier.

We now live in a world that makes it possible to live void of human contact. We can live a virtual life. VIRTUAL connections are not a SOUL connection.

The same technology that promises to help us be more connected than ever is – in some ways – making people more disconnected that ever.

My loneliness caused me to spend the day in tears. I had left all my friends 3 years ago when we moved from the Chicago area to Colorado. Then I left all my new Colorado friends to pursue an adventure in Minnesota. (Click here to read about it)

My husband saw me and listened to my sadness … then encouraged me to do a few things that he thought might help. (Husbands love to FIX things.) At first, I didn’t want him to FIX it…I just wanted to FEEL it. Then, I slowly acted on his suggestions and it really DID help! If you find yourself feeling lonely, these ideas might help you too:

Reach out to old friends.

I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to catch up with people who know you and love you. Do it. Call an old friend today.

It’s important to choose a handful of friends that are “lifers” … friends that you want to stay connected with for life. Those are the friends you need to continue to check-in on and reach out to.

Call one (or five) old friends and tell them you are LONELY! Letting someone know how you feel invites them to encourage you, pray for you, check in on you, and spend time with you.

I was feeling sad that very few friends had reached out to me, then I began to realize I had not reached out to anyone either. I have one friend who lost her father, another friend just went through a divorce, another friend moved across the country. I had not reached out to ANY of them!!!!

Wow, I was throwing myself a pity party, then realized I was not doing what I wanted others to do for me!

2. Reach out to new friends.

I had very few people in this new state that even knew my name. But the few that knew me, I contacted. One was my neighbor…we just sat on each other’s porches and talked while our kids played. I invited the one other lady I knew out to dinner. It was refreshing to chat with other ladies and begin to build friendships.

When we sow genuine seeds of friendship – love, encouragement, time, and affirmation – we WILL reap a harvest of good friends.

3. Get outside

Get OUT of your house!

Take a walk, soak in the fresh air.

BONUS: PEOPLE are outside!

This might sound silly, but I intentionally went on walks and bike rides with my kids around my new neighborhood JUST to meet our neighbors and find potential friends.

My first good friend in Colorado was someone I met at the playground when our kids were playing together.

So…get outside!

Since it’s winter in Minnesota and harder to be outside…I’ve found places to go INSIDE! The library, classes at the gym, my church, and a Bible study.

I was actually writing this post from the cafe inside my local gym. As I’m typing, a lady from my church recognizes me and says hello. We talk for a few minutes and she asks me what I’m writing about. I was so embarrassed to answer honestly, but took a deep breath and said: Loneliness. She then INVITES me to her house. This is exactly what I needed and would not have had happened if I’d stayed inside – wallowing in loneliness.

Movement creates opportunity!

Get out of your house. Smile. Be friendly. Stop and chat with people.

4. Start a Gratitude List

Start writing a list of things you are grateful for. I’m currently writing a list of 1000 things for which I’m thankful based on the book One Thousand Gifts gifts.

If you look for the good, you WILL find it!

When I began to focus on the things I DO have rather than what I don’t, my attitude began to change. My shift in perspective caused my heart to mend.

5. Connect with your Heavenly Father.

We are never really alone. Our Heavenly Father is always ready and willing to spend time with us, comfort us and heal our wounded hearts. It’s easy to forget that God is with us all day long…ready to listen and connect. He’s the one Friend that will never leave or disappoint us.

…But I am always with you.
You have held my hand. Psalm 73:23

…You can be sure that I will be with you always… Matthew 28:20

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18

So don’t worry, because I am with you.
Don’t be afraid, because I am your God.
I will make you strong and will help you.
I will support you with my right hand…Isaiah 41:10

The closer we get to God, the fuller our hearts will be and the less lonely we will feel. However, it’s okay to ask Him to provide us with strong friendships! He’s the one who said:

“It’s not good for man to be alone!” (Genesis 2:18)

If you’ve moved recently, I wrote a post called “LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE” with some similar but additional ideas and encouragement. You can click here to read it.

If you are feeling lonely, call me or send me an email! I’d be happy to chat with you!

If you’ve found something that has helped you overcome loneliness… leave me a comment!

For an awesome, encouraging book, check out: You are Never Alone by Max Lucado.

January 19, 2019 By Kathryn

2 In My Journey

A look at my 2018 Goals!

Exactly one year ago, I posted a list of goals for 2018….Below my 2018 goals are listed with details about what was accomplished.

1. Personal Goals

Market my book:
- UPDATE: Before we moved to Minnesota, I was able to get my book (Climb, Soar, Swim, Explore) into four stores!
- I’ve done two book signings and several readings.
Continue writing:
- 2 posts per week for this blog
  - Update: I’ve done at least two posts per week since I launched!
- Bible Studies for the Help Club
  - Update: Still writing for the Help Club.
- Articles for Homefront Magazine,
  - Update: I’ve written 2-3 articles for Homefront and will continue when needed.
- Write new drafts for my next children’s book
  - Update: on hold until I get to know Minnesota better.
Explore new places
- Update: Though I thought 2018 would be full of Colorado explorations…it turned out to be a year of Minnesota adventures.
Keep learning – podcasts, classes, books, etc
- Update: Regularly listening to podcasts, reading books and taking online classes.

2. Marriage Goals

Go on a monthly date with my husband
- Update: We’ve been on a date each month this year.
Go on an overnight with just the two of us
- Update: Ted and I set a getaway RECORD this year. We took long weekends to Minneapolis to go house-hunting in May and June, then went to California in December for an actual GETAWAY! Thanks to my in-laws for keeping the boys!

3. Motherhood Goals

Stay ENGAGED, present with my sons – enjoying each moment (It’s going by so quickly!)
- Update: This is always a work-in-progress!
Spend one-on-one time with each one
- Update: Went on “dates” with each one of them throughout the year.

4. Ministry Goals

Build relationships with kids and volunteers
- Update: LOVED the people I served at New Life. The people there were like family and I cried my eyes out when we moved.
Invest in current volunteers
- Update: I was doing this with conversations, cards, and time together.
Personally invite 50 more people to serve
- Update: I did not keep track but I did invite at least one person to serve every week until we moved.

That’s my update! It really helps to WRITE your goals down and review them throughout the year.

If there are things that you want to do but haven’t yet accomplished, let me encourage you to WRITE those things DOWN, ask someone to keep you accountable…and pray for strength and favor to accomplish your goals. YOU CAN DO IT!

December 28, 2018 By Kathryn

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