How to Find Joy in the Mess of Motherhood

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As a mother, I’ve experienced the incredible joy and fulfillment of raising children, but also the intense challenges and stress that come with it. I try to keep the house picked up, but sometimes it feels like a hurricane has swept through. Breakfast dishes pile up, spills happen, and my sons love to make forts out of all our pillows and blankets. In those moments, I feel overwhelmed.

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Some thoughts that run through my head are:

• I’ll never have a clean house.
• I’m depressed.
• I can’t do this.

I give myself about 60 seconds to think this way, then I purposefully stop myself. When I choose to think different thoughts, my mood immediately changes.

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I’ve learned that I have a choice in how I respond to the thoughts. I choose to focus on gratitude and joy instead of stress and negativity.

When I start to feel down, here are two things I’ve found that are helpful.

Scripture:

• “I can’t do this” is replaced with: “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
• “I am depressed” is replaced with “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24 ESV).

Gratitude:

• Replace “I’ll never have a clean house!” with this thought: I have young children, but I will eventually have a clean house again and may even miss their messes. Messes means life is happening here.
• Replace “Look at the messy kitchen!” with this thought: My children aren’t hungry. They have food to eat.
• Replace “The living room is a mess!” with this though: My children are creative. They are playing together.

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Feeling stressed is a choice. Joy and gratitude are choices too.

I’m choosing joy one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time.

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Motherhood is a journey that requires us to let go of our own desires and priorities and focus on our children. It’s a tough but rewarding path, and we can choose to find joy even in the midst of messes and chaos.

If you’re struggling to find joy and gratitude as a mother, I encourage you to ask God for help. You can also start a gratitude journal and write down five things you’re thankful for each day. And don’t forget to involve your children in household chores! Even young children can help pick up toys or set the table, and older children can do more advanced tasks like laundry and cooking.

Remember, joy is a choice, and it’s one we have to make every day. Let’s choose wisely and embrace the challenges and joys of motherhood together.

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