I had an amazing English College professor in college. I always thought I was more of a math person, but this English professor changed that. She enjoyed her work, and that joy flowed out of her and on to me! (Joy has a way of doing that!)
One simple thing I learned from my English professor is that “alot” is NOT a word. You write it like this: I learned a lot. Two words. I’m not sure why I didn’t learn that until my freshmen year of college, but I thought it would be helpful to share with you. I’ve read your posts on Facebook and there are a LOT of people who think ‘alot’ is a word! It’s not. And your welcome :).
When I was in college, we did research papers without the internet. This meant we had to drive or walk to an actual libraryand check out real-life books. So many HEAVY books and so much reading. There was no google or keyword search. We used something called a Table of Contents and an index section.
Our very first paper was to choose any classic book and write a paper on it.
Click to read what BOOK I chose and how it impacted my life!
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And do you have a college memory that you want to share? A favorite class? Something you learned? Something that’s totally outdated now!? Leave me a comment!
Though we are the most interconnected generation of all time, we are the loneliest generation as well.
We have hundreds, maybe thousands of ‘friends’ on social media, but rarely spend time with people one-on-one, eye-to-eye, really getting to KNOW each other.
This pandemic’s made it worse! We are currently asked to STAY HOME and STAY APART.
We may text and comment on pictures, but rarely have a heartfelt, deep, face-to-face conversation. And when was the last time you HUGGED someone (besides your children)?
After moving to Minnesota, I’d been feeling lonely. My loneliness was causing me to be on social media MORE, but that pseudo-connection left me feeling emptier and lonelier.
We now live in a world that makes it possible to live void of human contact. We can live a virtual life. VIRTUAL connections are not a SOUL connection.
The same technology that promises to help us be more connected than ever is – in some ways – making people more disconnected that ever.
My loneliness caused me to spend the day in tears. I had left all my friends 3 years ago when we moved from the Chicago area to Colorado. Then I left all my new Colorado friends to pursue an adventure in Minnesota. (Click here to read about it)
My husband saw me and listened to my sadness … then encouraged me to do a few things that he thought might help. (Husbands love to FIX things.) At first, I didn’t want him to FIX it…I just wanted to FEEL it. Then, I slowly acted on his suggestions and it really DID help! If you find yourself feeling lonely, these ideas might help you too:
Reach out to old friends.
I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to catch up with people who know you and love you. Do it. Call an old friend today.
It’s important to choose a handful of friends that are “lifers” … friends that you want to stay connected with for life. Those are the friends you need to continue to check-in on and reach out to.
Call one (or five) old friends and tell them you are LONELY! Letting someone know how you feel invites them to encourage you, pray for you, check in on you, and spend time with you.
I was feeling sad that very few friends had reached out to me, then I began to realize I had not reached out to anyone either. I have one friend who lost her father, another friend just went through a divorce, another friend moved across the country. I had not reached out to ANY of them!!!!
Wow, I was throwing myself a pity party, then realized I was not doing what I wanted others to do for me!
2. Reach out to new friends.
I had very few people in this new state that even knew my name. But the few that knew me, I contacted. One was my neighbor…we just sat on each other’s porches and talked while our kids played. I invited the one other lady I knew out to dinner. It was refreshing to chat with other ladies and begin to build friendships.
When we sow genuine seeds of friendship – love, encouragement, time, and affirmation – we WILL reap a harvest of good friends.
3. Get outside
Get OUT of your house!
Take a walk, soak in the fresh air.
BONUS:PEOPLE are outside!
This might sound silly, but I intentionally went on walks and bike rides with my kids around my new neighborhood JUST to meet our neighbors and find potential friends.
My first good friend in Colorado was someone I met at the playground when our kids were playing together.
So…get outside!
Since it’s winter in Minnesota and harder to be outside…I’ve found places to go INSIDE! The library, classes at the gym, my church, and a Bible study.
I was actually writing this post from the cafe inside my local gym. As I’m typing, a lady from my church recognizes me and says hello. We talk for a few minutes and she asks me what I’m writing about. I was so embarrassed to answer honestly, but took a deep breath and said: Loneliness. She then INVITES me to her house. This is exactly what I needed and would not have had happened if I’d stayed inside – wallowing in loneliness.
Movement creates opportunity!
Get out of your house. Smile. Be friendly. Stop and chat with people.
4. Start a Gratitude List
Start writing a list of things you are grateful for. I’m currently writing a list of 1000 things for which I’m thankful based on the book One Thousand Gifts gifts.
If you look for the good, you WILL find it!
When I began to focus on the things I DO have rather than what I don’t, my attitude began to change. My shift in perspective caused my heart to mend.
5. Connect with your Heavenly Father.
We are never really alone. Our Heavenly Father is always ready and willing to spend time with us, comfort us and heal our wounded hearts. It’s easy to forget that God is with us all day long…ready to listen and connect. He’s the one Friend that will never leave or disappoint us.
…But I am always with you. You have held my hand. Psalm 73:23
…You can be sure that I will be with you always… Matthew 28:20
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18
So don’t worry, because I am with you. Don’t be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support you with my right hand…Isaiah 41:10
The closer we get to God, the fuller our hearts will be and the less lonely we will feel. However, it’s okay to ask Him to provide us with strong friendships! He’s the one who said:
“It’s not good for man to be alone!” (Genesis 2:18)
If you’ve moved recently, I wrote a post called “LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE” with some similar but additional ideas and encouragement. You can click here to read it.
If you are feeling lonely, call me or send me an email! I’d be happy to chat with you!
If you’ve found something that has helped you overcome loneliness… leave me a comment!
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp was truly a GIFT to me. It was the most beautifully written book I’ve ever read – and so full of truth and light. The book made me cry, laugh, think, and smile.
When I read a book, I underline all my favorite parts. If it’s a book that has stuff I that I don’t want to forget, I enter everything I’ve underlined into my computer. For this book, I had SIX TYPED pages of notes and quotes from the book! Six pages of words from the book that I didn’t want to forget. That’s a record!
This is a book I’ll come back to over and over. I’m also going to read the study guide that goes with this book:
The premise of One Thousand Gifts is about how to find gratitude in the mundane days of life. Finding gratitude leads to a full, joy-filled life.
Here are some quotes from the book:
It’s easy to speak the language of discontentment, self-condemnation, and dissatisfaction…but it’s worth learning how to speak a new language.
Why not let ALL life be penetrated by JOY and gratitude!?
Do yourself a favor and READ THIS BOOK!
Have you read One Thousand Gifts? If so…leave me a comment. Also, if you have a book I MUST read this year, let me know!
Have you read One Thousand Gifts? If so…leave me a comment. Also, if you have a book I MUST read this year, let me know!
Have you read One Thousand Gifts? If so…leave me a comment. Also, if you have a book I MUST read this year, let me know!
If you’d like to read reviews of all 40 books I read last year, click here.
Update: I’ve written 2-3 articles for Homefront and will continue when needed.
Write new drafts for my next children’s book
Update: on hold until I get to know Minnesota better.
Explore new places
Update: Though I thought 2018 would be full of Colorado explorations…it turned out to be a year of Minnesota adventures.
Keep learning – podcasts, classes, books, etc
Update: Regularly listening to podcasts, reading books and taking online classes.
2. Marriage Goals
Go on a monthly date with my husband
Update: We’ve been on a date each month this year.
Go on an overnight with just the two of us
Update: Ted and I set a getaway RECORD this year. We took long weekends to Minneapolis to go house-hunting in May and June, then went to California in December for an actual GETAWAY! Thanks to my in-laws for keeping the boys!
3. Motherhood Goals
Stay ENGAGED, present with my sons – enjoying each moment (It’s going by so quickly!)
Update: This is always a work-in-progress!
Spend one-on-one time with each one
Update: Went on “dates” with each one of them throughout the year.
4. Ministry Goals
Build relationships with kids and volunteers
Update: LOVED the people I served at New Life. The people there were like family and I cried my eyes out when we moved.
Invest in current volunteers
Update: I was doing this with conversations, cards, and time together.
Personally invite 50 more people to serve
Update: I did not keep track but I did invite at least one person to serve every week until we moved.
That’s my update! It really helps to WRITE your goals down and review them throughout the year.
If there are things that you want to do but haven’t yet accomplished, let me encourage you to WRITE those things DOWN, ask someone to keep you accountable…and pray for strength and favor to accomplish your goals. YOU CAN DO IT!
Why does it seem like Christmas comes SO slowly when you are a child and as an adult, it comes WAY to quickly. I wish the Christmas season could last twice as long. I love the lights, the songs, the decorations, celebrations, traditions, extra time with friends and family, …and the anticipation and excitement in our children!
Our day started early … 3 AM early! Paul and Clark woke up, went into George’s room and woke him up and exclaimed: “It’s Christmas! Wake up!” Thankfully, George looked at the clock. He then came in, woke me up to let me know that his brothers were up and ready for Christmas and he thought it was too early.
Me: You are right, it’s too early! Go back to bed!
I went downstairs to bring the bad news to Paul and Clark that Christmas wouldn’t begin for 4 more hours.
CLARK: What will we do for FOUR hours?
ME: SLEEP!
CLARK AND PAUL: We are too excited to sleep!
ME: I’m sorry. (not sorry)
Thankfully, somehow, they did go back to sleep and so did I…and Christmas morning began around 7 AM.
Here are some fun and inexpensive stocking stuffer ideas:
First: Place a small notepad inside each stocking with these pre-written questions:
What is one happy memory from this year?
What’s your favorite gift(s)?
What is something you learned this year?
What has God done in your life this year?
What are you looking forward to next year?
It will be fun to look back through the notebook and reflect on memories from Christmas past, while capturing memories of Christmas present.
After each person is done answering their questions, the notepads go back in the stockings and stay there until NEXT Christmas.
From Paul’s book in 2017, age 6
Second idea:
Go to the Dollar Store with your family and allow each person to pick out one thing for every person in the family. In my house, each person gets $7 – one dollar to spend on each of the 6 people, plus an extra dollar for tax.
Your kids will love getting to pick out a gift for each person in the family (as well as one item for themselves). This idea came from the Money Saving Mom
Do you have a good stocking stuffer idea? Leave me a comment by clicking on the little ‘comment’ box by the title of this post.
Scroll to the bottom to read what I think are the BEST BOOKS of 2018!
40 books I’ve read in 2018:
1. Money-making mom – (4/5) This book had some different ideas about how a mom can earn some extra money while raising kids. Written by Crystal Paine who created MoneySavingMom.com.
8. Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud (5/5) – Loved this book and HIGHLY recommend it if you are going through any transitions. Read my full review here.
9. Breathing In, Breathing out by Ralph Fletcher (4/5) – Read my review here.
10. Love Does by Bob Goff (5/5) – I read this a couple years ago, and downloaded the audiobook to hear the author read it! This is one of my favorite books ever.
26. Hallelujah Anyway by Anne Lamott – (4/5) Anne is an entertaining writer – good book!
27. Encountering our Wild God by Kim Meeder – (5/5) This book is full of fascinating stories of what God has done in and through people. Loved it!
28. Fully Alive by Ken Davis (4/5) – Funny and interesting. Feels like it’s written for an older age group, but overall enjoyable.
29. The Path between Us by Suzanne Stabile – (3/5) Enneagram book. How to have a relationship with people of different personalities. I listened to the audiobook and think it was too much info to ‘listen to.’ I’d probably give it a higher rating if I’d read the book.
30. 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman (5/5) I’ve read this a long time ago but this is one you could keep coming back to. The book discusses different ways our children receive love and how to provide that love.
31. What’s God Really Like? by SJ Hill (5/5) Outstanding book on our amazing God and his incredible love for YOU! This book reminded me of all the ways God SHOWS his love for me! Wow, so so good. READ THIS BOOK!
32. Of Mess & Moxie – 4/5 Entertaining and FUN to read with lots of truth nuggets.
33. Love Does for Kids -(5/5) I LOVED the grown-up version of this book, so I was really excited to get this and read it to my kids. It’s a great book, but I may have enjoyed it more than the kids. I’m still trying to figure out how to get four boys to sit and listen. The book is FULL of great stories, and each connects with a lesson from the Bible.
34. Strong mothers, strong sons by Dr. Meg Meeker (5/5) A book that every single mother of sons should read. Absolutely fantastic. So many scenarios with recommendations of what is normal and how to respond, what to do, etc. Really good for me in a house full of boys! I’ll be reading this again in two years when I have a teenager. This would make a great gift for the mother of pre-teens or teens.
35. The Middle Place (3/5) – This book came recommended so I had high expectations. I usually enjoy memoirs, but this book did not deliver. I felt like it was more of a letter to her own family and too personal. The book’s title: “The Middle Place” refers to being in that place of raising children and still being someone’s child. I skipped through a few parts and kept hoping it would get better. It didn’t.
36. Speak Life by Brady Boyd- (5/5) An amazing book about the power in our words. My review here.
37. The Remarkable Ordinary – (3/5) I downloaded this audiobook because of the interesting title. There were some enjoyable parts to the book, but overall, I wasn’t crazy about it.
38. Unsupermommy by Maggie Combs (5/5) – A book every single mom should read. She speaks truth. LOVED IT and plan to give a few as gifts!
39. Cultivate by Lara Casey (3/5) – About “cultivating” the life you want. Decent book but the book was a little flat for me. However, I was “listening” to this book and may have been distracted. It has great reviews on Amazon.
40. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp – 5/5 This is one of my TOP FIVE books of the year! Ann is probably one of the most gifted writers I’ve ever read. This is a book on the power of gratitude. This would be a PHENOMENAL gift for any person you know.
Of the 40 books listed above, here are my Top 8 Favorite Books of 2018:
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp – An incredibly well-written book that reminds the readers of how gratitude can positively change your life.
UnSuperMommy by Maggie Combs – This would make a great gift for any new moms or moms with young children.
What’s God Really Like? by SJ Hill – LOVED this book. It would make a good gift for anyone wanting to be reminded of how GOOD our God really is!
Conversations with a Billionaire by Ted W Egly – I LOVED this book and think it would be a great gift for anyone needing a little inspiration.
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver – So interesting. A great gift for any gardener or foodie!
“So God throws open the door of this world—and enters as a baby. As the most vulnerable imaginable. Because He wants unimaginable intimacy with you. What religion ever had a god that wanted such intimacy with us that He came with such vulnerability to us? What God ever came so tender we could touch Him? So fragile that we could break Him? So vulnerable that His bare, beating heart could be hurt? Only the One who loves you to death.” -Ann Voskamp
I have four young boys so there have been four Christmas nights that I’ve been up with a newborn. These quiet moments always give me a chance to reflect on the very first Christmas…
What was Mary thinking and feeling as she held her little one in her arms.
Luke 2:20 (NIV) tells us:
“But Mary treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart.”
What was she pondering? Was she scared? Excited? Curious? Wouldn’t it be nice if she wrote what she learned from others, what she learned from Jesus? (I hope to get to talk to her about it one day in heaven!)
I stare into my little boy’s face and wonder who he will become. Did Mary know who Jesus would become? Was she overwhelmed at the thought that God had entrusted her to raise His Son! A child who would bring Hope and Peace for all eternity. Was she afraid she might do something wrong?
As I hold my little one in my arms, I begin to feel afraid. Though I didn’t give birth to Jesus, I am raising a child of God! A child who has the potential to bring hope to a hurting world. A child who can bring the Good News to others! What if I mess up?
Do I have what it takes?
I stop and remember that God chose this child for me at this time.
Deutoronomy 31:6:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Wow, just bask in those words for a minute. We don’t need to fear. He NEVER leaves us. He is always with us!
So what are some things we can do to invest in and mold these young lives so that they become Followers of Christ and make a positive difference in this world?
First of all … ask for God’s help every single day! Ask Him for wisdom because James 1:5 tells us:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should askGod, whogives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Here are some other suggestions for raising young men and women of God:
Lead by example. Spend time reading God’s word and praying.
Stay present. Look at your children in the eye and answer their questions.
SMILE and remind them that they are LOVED – by you and by God!
Say ‘I’m sorry’ when you mess up. (We all mess up!)
Talk about the Goodness of God – sharing stories of what He has done in your life and the lives of others. Deuteronomy 6:7 – “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
Pray together – for their “owies,” for their friends, and their concerns.
Sing and/or read together.
Practice ‘self-care’ so that you aren’t running on fumes.
Go to church together.
Download the Bible App for Kids. When they want to play on your phone, encourage them to play this first. Or play together!
Love their Daddy and invest in your relationship. If you are divorced, refrain from speaking bad about their dad.
Do we have to do ALL of these things every day? No.
I think the most important thing we can do is ask God for help. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you as you lead your children.
If you feel like there is something you can tweak to become the best mama to your children, do it.
Each day is new day!
Each day is a new opportunity to ask God for help. A new day to stay present in your children’s lives. Another opportunity to watch for what God is already doing in your child’s heart and life to encourage and support that!
Let’s look into our children’s eyes and remind them that God loves them and has GREAT plans for their future – He really does!!!
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
As soon as I swept a pile of crumbs in the kitchen, Clark DOVE into them like he was sliding into home base; then he rolled over and started doing snow angels…redistributing the crumbs all over the kitchen.
George saw that Paul was wearing his underwear.
George: You better not fart in those, Paul!
Paul: I already did.
Paul: When I grow up, will I be handsome like daddy and have a beautiful wife like him?
Beth Moore is one of my heroes. The way she talks, writes and teaches speaks right to my heart. Here’s one of my favorite stories she tells. It’s an incredibly powerful, touching true story!
