Today’s blog post is one of my favorites – and it was written by my husband, the great Ted Egly. Ted works for Target and his job is working with their executives and senior leaders on their personal and team development. This article was published internally for all leaders and team members at Target. Ted, take it away…
It’s been said that tough times don’t last, but tough people and teams do. Right now, we are tasked with being more resilient than ever. Resilience is the capacity to be strong under conditions of uncertainty, change, and stress.
As we are struggling to come to terms with this crisis, we can treat it as a defining moment to grow in spite of it – and because of it.
I’ve found that many times, we don’t elevate to our highest capacity until we are faced with our highest challenge.
Resilience is the skill and capacity to be strong under conditions of uncertainty, change, and stress.
Here are 5 practical steps to build your resiliency:
Step 1: Build your personal energy
Sometimes people think that they were either born resilient or they weren’t. The truth is, your resiliency is something you can strengthen with a few steps.
- Exercise and sleep. When you move your body, you change your biochemistry – releasing dopamine. This is called the “feel better effect.” As for sleep, limit screen time and media intake before bed, and keep a consistent sleep schedule.
- “Physical distancing” – not “social distancing.” We are made for social connection and community, so find ways to engage others. Video chats are great place to start.
- Enjoy the moments of levity. Recently while I was on a conference call with an executive and another senior leader, one of my sons began chanting, “I love bacon!” in the background. Soon, all my four boys began chanting, “I love bacon.” We all got a much-needed laugh.
- Consider prayer and meditation to calm your mind. Use one of the many meditation apps out there. (A good place to start: “box breathing” – click here to learn how)
Step 2: Put things in perspective
Now, let’s explore the power of perspective – for yourself and those around you. It starts with paying attention to when we catastrophize (or jump to the worst possible outcome of a scenario), which dramatically diminishes our capacity to be more resilient.
- Engage in a gratitude practice. Every night write down two to three things that you were grateful for that day. Be as specific as possible. Gratitude is a powerful antibiotic.
- Limit where you give your attention. Our attention is under siege. What information you consistently feed on will shape your life. What you attend to the most becomes your reality.
- Meter your social media/media intake. Negativity is like Velcro, and positivity is like Teflon. But it can take more effort to focus on positive things. So identify one activity that can help you shift your thinking.
Step 3: Control your attention
Now, direct yourself to areas in your life (at home and work) where you can take productive, useful action.
- You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond. Try to be objective and keep an even keel – and try to see the good in a situation.
- “Stay in the day.” It’s a phrase someone I know repeats whenever fear and doubt invites him to focus on the worries of tomorrow that he can’t control. Stay in the day.
- Try the “circle of control” exercise. Draw a circle on a blank piece of paper. Then, write down all of the things you can control or influence inside the circle and all of the things you cannot control outside of the circle. This helps you see the things that are inside of your control.
You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond.
Step 4: Take Action
There will be moments when you feel a sense of helplessness. The best antidote when that happens? Take some sort of action.
- Action cures fear. Helplessness comes from a lack of perceived control. When we are paralyzed by fear or worry, it gets in the way of our body’s ability to release the chemical dopamine – which leads to a greater sense of helplessness.
- Next time you’re feeling stuck, think of the one action (not two or three, just one) you can take. There’s power in choosing that next step and following through.
- By taking action, you train your brain to release dopamine, boosting your energy levels and producing a huge effect on your sense of control, mood and thinking.
- Bottom line: Think of today’s problems or challenges as invitations to step through your fears.
Today’s challenges are really just invitations to step through your fears.
Step 5: Care for others
Another powerful antidote to our own fears and worries is to focus on others.
- Random acts of kindness, even during this crisis, has a powerful effect on others.
- A powerful chemical that our brain releases, oxytocin, is associated with empathy, trust and relationship building. It’s the feeling we get when we do something nice for someone or someone does something nice for us.
- Be empathetic. During times of crisis, it’s a powerful opportunity to be exceedingly human.
- Be a “dealer in hope.” Think about a time recently where someone brought hope into a situation. What did it feel like? What was the result? Resilient people can help breathe oxygen in the soul, by infusing hope in the form of appreciation, inspiration and recognition (A.I.R.).
Focusing on the needs of others has a way of refocusing your attention and motivating you to do more than you thought possible.
Random acts of kindness, even during this crisis, has a powerful effect on others.
Bringing it all Back
Becoming a more resilient person is a process. You have what it takes. Focus on personal energy, put things in perspective, control your attention, take action and care for others. These are some ways to get through this time by building up your resiliency – and in the process, bring about a better, more resilient world.
Thanks for reading! If you like this article, check out Ted’s book on Amazon: Conversations with a Billionaire.
