All of My Feelings were Hurting!

Recently in the middle of the bedtime craziness, my youngest son Luke cried out:

ALL OF MY FEELINGS ARE HURTING!!!!

I tried not to laugh and was able to comfort him that night with a hug.

However, his words stuck with me because throughout the last couple of months, I completely understood what he was talking about:

ALL of MY feelings were hurting! I was feeling sad, mad, worried, anxious, and fearful.

• Sad that I have to say goodbye to people and a place I love
• Mad that a job was moving us to Minnesota
• Worried that we wouldn’t sell our Colorado home or find the right house to purchase in Minnesota
• Anxious about all of the changes and everything that I needed to do to move across the country
• Fearful of the unknowns

Then I read Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud.  It was full of truth and ENCOURAGEMENT and was the exact book I needed during this transition! He put into words everything I needed to hear.  I didn’t know if it was okay that ALL of my feelings were hurting. People move EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. NBD!

And then I read:

“When you don’t feel your feelings, you remained tethered to them in some way” Dr. Henry Cloud.

This gave me the freedom to FEEL all of the feelings, to process them, write about them, talk about them, cry over them and pray about them. I also allowed others to pray for me, hug me, remind me of God’s truth and encourage me.

“To the degree we were invested in something that’s ending, we will have to work the grief through our system in order to be ready for whatever is next…

“When you feel grief, you are saying: I am looking this reality right in the face and dealing with it. Grief also means I am getting ready for what is next, because I am saying goodbye to it.” Dr. Henry Cloud

I said Good-bye.

After processing all of the feelings, I said goodbye. Goodbye to the sadness, anger, worry, anxiety and fear. I also said goodbye to the priceless Colorado adventure and looked back with gratitude!

Then I said Hello!

Feeling the feelings and processing them allowed the closure I needed to end that glorious chapter and to say hello to a NEW one!  New friends, new opportunities, new memories and experiences.

I will take my memories, my friendships, and what I’ve learned and build on that in our new place. I will discover new things and develop new relationships.

Treat endings with respect.

“Look at the experience, break it apart. What was good about it? What did I learn? What skills did I attain? New knowledge? Take all of that and make it a part of you. It becomes part of who you are. You are now smarter and wiser for having that experience.”

“Face your grief, work through it and let it equip you will make for a good necessary ending.” Dr. Cloud

Thank you Dr. Henry Cloud! I LOVED your book (especially Chapter 12 – Embrace the Grief: The Importance of Metabolizing Necessary Endings!) It said everything I needed as I ended one chapter to begin a new one.

If you are about to have an “ending” of some sort (or know you NEED to end something) – I highly recommend you get this book!!! And maybe start with Chapter 12.

(Affilate Link)

Have you read this book? If so, did you like it too? Leave a comment!