0 In 2020/ Faith/ Finding our place/ Inspiration/ Marriage/ Motherhood

Focus less on ‘WHAT’ and more on ‘HOW’

Most of the time when we think about our lives we think…

“WHAT does God want me to do with my life?”

“WHAT should I do for work?”

“WHAT are my talents?”

“What am I doing with my life?”

We usually think in terms of “What.”

Say…WHAT!?

However, SCRIPTURE suggests to us that the HOW is more important than the WHAT.

²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

In other words…

God’s will is more about “HOW” we live than exactly WHAT it is we do.

What if we found out God’s big plan for our lives is that we wouldn’t spend so much time trying to figure out a big plan for our lives? Perhaps He just wants us to love Him and each other.
Bob Goff

This thought should recalibrate how you approach your day.

“HOW” you work has an impact on your:

attitude,
work ethic,
integrity,
reactions.

HOW you go about your day and HOW you do your work is MORE important than the specific job you are doing.

Maybe we will never get to what we are hoping for, until we learn how to have the right attitude about where we are right now.

Why would God get you to the where…if HOW isn’t working for you?

What if HOW you get your work done and HOW you interact with others were the most important things?

The HOW is critical in your marriage and parenting.

What if WHO you are married to is not as important as HOW you are married to that person?

Maybe if WHAT your kids are doing is less important than HOW you are responding to them.

You can love them well. You can serve them well.

Sometimes when we are not doing WHAT we want to be doing, we aren’t paying attention to HOW we are doing it. But, the HOW is more important than the WHAT.

I had a job I loved before becoming a mother. When my 3rd child was born, I became a full-time homemaker. I was no longer recognized or rewarded for the work I was doing. My kids never said “Good job mom! Thanks for waking up so early. Thanks for always doing the dishes, washing our clothes, playing with us, changing our diapers, making all that food and cleaning up our messes.” In spite of this, I asked God for strength and JOY in what I was doing. I wanted to enjoy my kids and my role in motherhood. I wanted to savor these years and keep a grateful heart and a good attitude. I knew God saw me.

I did wonder if I’d even have any marketable skills after taking care of babies for so long. And guess what, when I went back to work, I found that I hadn’t lost the skills I had before parenting. In fact, I was probably more efficient and a little more effective.

Wherever you are…whatever you are doing…approach it with gratitude and the right attitude.

Perhaps you are a full-time mom, wishing you could escape that roll some days. God has you there, ask Him for strength and allow Him to use you.

Perhaps you are a full-time employee, wishing you could quit. God has you there, ask Him for strength and allow Him to use you.

GOD WANTS TO GET INTO THE FABRIC OF OUR EVERYDAY, SOMETIMES BORING LIVES!

You may not be doing WHAT you want to do. But you still need to think about HOW you are approaching what you do.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
I Peter 3:8

Let’s look at this verse:

For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

Maybe the questions we need to ask ourselves are:

HOW am I working well in my job?
HOW am I living well in my neighborhood?
HOW am I loving well in my marriage?
How am I modeling well in my motherhood?

Maybe for you, a simple exercise is writing down areas that you can improve, with God’s help:

Talk to your spouse about “how” to love or serve him better…
Get feedback from your neighbors, co-workers, or boss on “how” you can be of support to them…
Have your kids write down 3 or 4 things that you can do to help your relationship with them (reading a story, putting away your phone so you can stay engaged, listening better when they are talking about their day, or investing in areas that you see they are gifted in)

Looking at “how” you are living a significant life is a great exercise in self-reflection.

Remember, life is less about WHAT we are doing than HOW we are doing it!

This post was adapted from a sermon my husband gave many years ago when he was a teaching pastor. Thanks for reading!

March 14, 2021 By Kathryn

1 In 2020/ Marriage/ Memories

Date Night – Quarantine Style

Without warning, we are in a BRAND NEW phase of marriage and parenting. We are stuck together all day every day, juggling a job (or the loss of a job). The kids are now home, so we are also trying to figure out how to home school, keep up with house work, cook for kids that are always hungry, and there are endless opportunities to drive each other crazy!!

This is a season where setting a couple hours apart to re-connect with your spouse is more important than ever.

Institutionalizing “date night” is not only fun, it can protect your marriage from deterioration and it can keep you and your spouse more healthy, happy and able to manage your life stressors.
Jame C Williamson, PhD

How date night helps:

I love being a mom, and one thing that helps me love it so much, is taking little breaks from my kids. I also love being married, and date night helps Ted and I reconnect and remember why we got married.

Taking a little time APART from the kids and WITH your spouse strengthens both your parenting AND your marriage!

My relationship with Ted started before we had children. I want it to remain strong during this challenging phase of parenthood, and keep thriving AFTER our children are grown!

Regular date nights build resilience to carry your marriage relationship during the challenging times.
JULIE BAUMGARDNER

How “quarantine date night” works:

Get dressed up! (Taking a shower, putting on some makeup and doing my hair suddenly feels LUXURIOUS! When you look good, you feel good.)
Order take out. (If you are on a tight budget, cook together.)
One spouse picks up food, while the other feeds the kids.
Put the kids to bed or set the kids up in another room to watch a pre-approved movie.
Enjoy a delicious dinner and conversation. Add some candles and music to really make it special.

Date night doesn’t have to be extravagant to make a significant positive impact on your marriage. Don’t let the tyranny of the urgent crowd out nurturing your relationship. It’s well worth the investment.
JULIE BAUMGARDNER

If you aren’t sure what to talk about after being together all day, every day! Here are some ideas.

Questions to ask:

Have you listened to any good podcasts this week?
Read anything interesting?
Had any memorable conversations?
How are you doing…really doing?
What do I do that makes you feel loved?
What can I do to support or encourage you?
What do you remember about the first time we met?
What do you remember about our first date?
What’s your most embarrassing moment? (prepare to laugh)
What are some things that we used to do that you would like to do again? What did you most enjoy about those things?
What things about our life together make you happy?
What’s something you’d like to do together that we’ve never done?
What was the last thing I did for you that you really enjoyed? What made it so pleasant for you?
What makes us a good team? What could we do to be an even better team?

We hope you and your spouse get to do a Quarantine Date Night! If you do, leave me a comment!

Click here for a good podcast on how Sara Blakely (Spanx) and her husband Jesse Itzler are surviving the quarantine with four little kids, while running their businesses.

Click here for another excellent podcast on connecting with your spouse by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley.

Click here for 55 ways to keep your kids busy!

Thanks for reading! Please consider subscribing!

May 1, 2020 By Kathryn

3 In Marriage/ My Journey

The Story of Us – Our Wedding Day!

I knew from our first date that I wanted to marry Ted Egly.

We got engaged, chose our day and it was here… the day I’d dreamed about my whole life.

Our wedding day: November 17, 2001.

Friends and family had gathered from all over the country, and the morning started with many of us gathered to finish decorating the church and preparing food for the reception.

Thank you to my mom and step-mom for delicious food and the beautiful display!

After wrapping up the last minute details…we got ready and broke a “wedding day rule.” Ted and I chose to see each other before the actual wedding. I LOVED breaking this rule because it was the first most memorable part of our day.

Ted was waiting for me at the front of our wedding chapel, all by himself. I walked down the aisle alone to just Ted. No one else was in the chapel. As I walked alone down the aisle, I was so nervous I could hardly breathe. This was really happening! When I got to the front, Ted held my hands, and we got to enjoy a few minutes together before our big day. We pushed “pause” on all the craziness of the day, to connect and speak a few words to each other….our last words before becoming husband and wife. The moment with just the two of us was unforgettable, and one of my favorite moments of the day.

After that, everything happened so quickly. We were joined by our photographer and all 18 of our bridesmaids and groomsmen. Yes … 18. I have FOUR natural sisters, TWO step-sisters, TWO cousins that are like sisters, and ONE (soon-to-be sister-in-law). Add that up, and you’ll see that I have NINE “sisters.” Ted had no brothers. Thankfully, he has a lot of great friends.

Our Bridal Party

We chose to take pictures BEFORE the wedding, so afterward we could enjoy as much time as possible with our family and friends.

At 2 PM on November 17, 2001…it was time for me to walk down the aisle.

Because I had just had a ‘practice’ run a couple of hours ago, I was no longer nervous or jittery! I was relaxed and enjoyed this second walk down the aisle. I DELIGHTED in every step. I soaked it all in. I tried to look around and see each of the 200+ people who came to celebrate with us. I wanted this time to freeze so that I could fully absorb how special this day was. Walking down the aisle, surrounded by all the people I love, was the second sweetest moment of the day.

I LOVED this moment

We said our beautiful vows and enjoyed an incredible ceremony. I loved every second of it, but when Pastor Randy announced us as Mr. and Mrs. Ted Egly…that was the best, sweetest part of the day! This is the moment I’d waited my whole life for, and I was the happiest I’d ever been.

The world’s happiest bride!

We turned toward our guests, and walked down the aisle side-by-side…as husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Ted Egly! Our bridesmaids and groomsmen followed close behind, and we had a few minutes to celebrate with them, right outside the doors of the chapel. This was another incredibly SPECIAL moment that day.

After the ceremony, we all gathered for the reception. We had some yummy appetizers and cake, fun and memorable speeches and toasts, and then we danced and danced (another favorite part of the day)! Our first dance was to the song, What a Wonderful World by Louie Armstrong. We also took some dance lessons before our wedding, and had fun practicing some of what we learned.

It was a day for the books. A day I will NEVER forget. Though so many things were ‘perfect’ that day and I loved SO many moments, there were a few things that went wrong…

The Pastor who married us wasn’t registered in our state and could not sign our marriage certificate. Thankfully, we were in Tulsa, OK, which meant that half of our guests were pastors. Pastor Hagin signed our marriage certificate.

We also ran out of drinks. (Where was Jesus in that moment?) But I’m not talking about wine. We ran out of all liquids. Jake Blonsky, our Best Man, gave a speech and toasted us with a pitcher of salsa. Since many of my guests and I would choose a good salsa over water, we survived.

As we were leaving our reception, I realized that I had barely eaten anything all day. I grabbed an hors d’oeuvre and put it in my mouth. “Crunch” – I bit into a raw onion in that first bite of food. We walked out to the car as our guests were shouting: “Kiss! Kiss!” Ted did kiss me and got to taste the onion I had just eaten! Mmmm…WELCOME TO MARRIED LIFE, sweetie. He still remembers that moment with “delight!”

Our wedding was one short day, but marriage is a lifetime. Though our wedding was fun and had many memorable moments, the most important part was the person I married. That’s the ONE part of the wedding you do NOT want to mess up. I’m thankful I married a man of faith, honor, and integrity. I’m grateful for my husband.

Thank you, Ted Egly, for loving me through thick and thin, good and bad. Fresh breath and onion breath.

Happy 17 years!

And if you are interested, here’s an open letter I wrote to my newlywed self.

If you were at our wedding, leave a comment with a memory you have of the day!

PS – Sorry for the blurry pictures. When I get a chance to upload the original wedding photos…I’ll include those!

November 17, 2018 By Kathryn

13 In Family/ Marriage/ My Journey

A letter to my newlywed self

Dear Kathryn,

Welcome to marriage…it’s going to be an incredible adventure that will challenge you to become the best version of yourself. Here are some things to keep in mind as you journey together into the future. Twelve tips for ‘happily ever after…’

1. Please remember that YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM!

Don’t try to WIN a fight and don’t get so defensive. Remember he loves you and wants the best for you.

In fact, when you are fighting, instead of trying to come up with all the things he’s done wrong (to justify your anger), think of all the things he’s done RIGHT and it will change your attitude.

2. Don’t let little things become BIG things.

Don’t fight over something that is fixable. You are going to get mad at Ted for stealing the blanket at night. Don’t get ANGRY, just GET ANOTHER BLANKET!

3. Choose friends wisely!

Be careful about choosing your closest friends. Your friends, and their marriages, will impact YOU and your MARRIAGE! Choose friends who fight for GOOD marriages. If your closest friends are criticizing their spouse, it’s easy to do the same. Choose friends who speak highly of their spouse (when they are around AND when they are NOT)!

4. Get some counseling.

You are coming into the marriage with some baggage. Talk this through with a trusted counselor who shares your values. It will do you, and your marriage, some good.

5. Say THANK YOU!

Be grateful and don’t take things for granted. Thank Ted for working hard, thank him for the things he does around the house, thank Him for his integrity. Thank him for loving you well. Be thankful, stay thankful. Tell him THANK YOU for the big things and the little things.

6. Be your husband’s cheerleader! (Not his critic)

He may not have anyone else encouraging him. Always cheer him on!

Don’t ever say things that make him look bad or mock him in front of others. You are the LAST person who should ever do that, and it will make you both feel bad.

“Be a raving fan publicly but an honest critic privately.” – Andy Stanley

7. On listening…and responding

Listen without formulating a response. Listen to UNDERSTAND.

Don’t say “You ALWAYS” and “You NEVER!” Don’t blame.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply…seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Stephen Covey

8. The ‘D’ word…don’t use it.

Remove the word ‘divorce’ from your vocabulary. You may want to sleep in another room some nights and work things out in the morning. You are in this for the long haul.

9. Don’t say: “That’s just the way I am.”

We can ALWAYS learn, grow and become better.

10. Always be kind.

Sometimes you’ll be tired or irritated, but you don’t have to be rude. Be kind.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

11. Respect

You were raised in a house full of women and don’t know how important “respect” is to a man. Do some research on this word, and apply what you’ve learned. (Spoiler Alert: Your future involves a house full of MEN)

12. When going through a hard time…keep going!

Tough times will come, fight the problem and not each other. It will get better.

There’s a rainbow in every cloud. – Maya Angelou

Love,

Kathryn –

17 years later, I still do NOT have all these tips mastered. I’m a work in progress. I’m still softening my rough spots and learning to love Ted. But those are some things I wish I knew from our first day of marriage!

What tip would have helped YOU as a newlywed? Leave a comment!

Most importantly, if you’ve found this post helpful, please share it on Facebook or Twitter.

November 12, 2018 By Kathryn

0 In Inspiration/ Marriage

6 simple ways to encourage your spouse

“Encourage one another…build each other up…” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Ted and I have celebrated over 20 years of marriage! Wow!

I remember SO clearly how absolutely excited I was to become Mrs. Ted Egly. I would talk endlessly, to anyone who would listen, about this amazing man. While we were dating, I would happily tell Ted how GOOD he looked, how well he spoke, how kind he was, how hard he worked, and what a great writer I thought he was.

Somehow, after getting married, I began to take things for granted instead of showing gratitude. It was easier to mention something that Ted was doing wrong, rather than tell him what he’s doing RIGHT! So, this post is for ME as much as it is for you. I needed a reminder to encourage my husband…and I thought maybe you could use one too.

It takes intentionality to pay attention to the good. However, if we LOOK for good we will FIND it. And the more we notice today, the more we will see tomorrow.

So, whether you’ve been married 20 years or 20 days, here are six simple ways to encourage your spouse!

1. Send a quick text

“I love you … thank you for working so hard for your family!”

2. Make a list

Make a list of the reasons you love your spouse – then share the list with them! I wrote a list here and shared it with Ted and with all of you!

3. Send a love letter or a card

Put in on their dest or mail to their work.

4. Leave a sticky note

Write a word of love or encouragement and put it in his car, on his computer or in his lunch bag.

5. Say THANK YOU!

Did your spouse do something that shouldn’t require a thanks? Thank them anyway! Everyone likes appreciation! I gladly accept a thanks for doing laundry or cooking dinner. So, thank your spouse for mowing, taking out the trash, or fixing something around the house.

6. Speak well of your spouse in front of others!

Highlight something your husband has done well. It means so much for you to praise them in front of others. And by the way, this also makes YOU look good. When you are talking about what an amazing guy your husband is, others see that you made a good choice for marrying such an upstanding guy!

If you are having a hard time being “thankful” for your spouse…speak to them as if they are the person you WANT them to be. Jesus called Peter a “rock” even though he was about to deny even knowing him. Jesus saw in Peter what he would become. We can do for our spouse what Jesus did for Peter, and what Jesus does for us, as well!

One last note – the BEST time to do this is when you are mad at your spouse. If you are in the middle of a disagreement…take a minute to reflect on what you love about the person you married. It takes the ‘sting’ out of the argument and reminds you that YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM!

Words of encouragement have power. The power to build, strengthen, heal and inspire!

Encourage your spouse today!

Love, Kathryn

Two phenomenal marriage books I would recommend are:

Both give practical advice for strengthening and improving any marriage.

Thank you for reading and please consider subscribing!

October 22, 2018 By Kathryn

2 In Family/ Marriage/ Memories/ Minnesota/ Motherhood/ Peek into our Week/ Raising boys

Peek into our week(s) – Back to school

Back-to-School:

First day of school!

The boys started 5th grade, 3rd grade, 1st grade, and preschool! They weren’t looking forward to going back (who wants summer to end?), but they are doing great! They have good teachers and are meeting new friends. Luke loves his new preschool. It’s only 2.5 hours, 3 mornings a week…so it goes by REALLY fast (for both of us!)

Weekend on the lake:

Some friends invited us to join them at their cabin on a lake in Wisconsin and I was surprised at how relaxing and soul-filling it was to get away for a couple of days. I got a glimpse of why so many locals have “cabins on the lake!” It was Clark’s 9th birthday. He and his brothers fished, swam, went tubing, and made s’mores by the fire, and ended the night with sparklers!

My favorite part was watching the sunset on the lake…it was one of the prettiest things I’ve seen in a long time! I was surprised at how much Paul loved it too. The sunset lit up the lake with vibrant color and Paul exclaimed, “Mom! Do you see this? It’s BEAUTIFUL!!!! The lake is orange!”

Then, at night, George and I went back to the dock and stared up at the sky. There were more stars than he had ever seen in his life. He thought it was AMAZING! (So did I!) We could even see the milky way!!!

Time with my dad (aka Poppy) at Mall of America:

My dad came in for a short visit. We had dinner together on Monday night, then went to Mall of America on Tuesday. Tuesday is the BEST day to go…I’ll tell you why in a future post! He celebrated his grandson’s birthdays with rides and lunch…then we took him to the airport.

George’s birthday:

Somehow, our oldest son is now 11! He didn’t want a cake but asked for DONUTS and Portillo’s or Chipotle. Well, he got all of that.

A new Chipotle just opened in our town last weekend and it’s been crazy busy. I told George we could try to go on his birthday, but it may be too busy. We show up (on a Friday night at 6) and there is only one person in line ahead of us! George looks at me and says, “Mom, God answered my prayer. I asked him to make the line short so we could have dinner here and he answered my prayer!!” As soon as we ordered, the line was OUT THE DOOR and didn’t stop the entire time we were there!

Sunday Ted took him out for some father/son time at his other favorite restaurant – Portillo’s.

He also got a new Lego set that he’d been wanting for a long time. I thought it would take him a month to put together, but he finished in two days. He’ll gladly tell you all about it if you ask him.

Date Night:

Ted and I got to sneak away for a couple of hours and have dinner at Maynard’s on Lake Minnetonka! It was a perfect night to sit outside by the lake, eating, chatting and watching the boats.

That’s what we’ve been up to! What’s your week been like? Leave me a comment!

September 17, 2018 By Kathryn

2 In Marriage/ Memories/ Peek into our Week/ Traveling

The Perfect Day in Chicago

It was August 6, only three days away from Ted’s FORTIETH birthday and I was feeling guilty that my mind had been on every other detail of our lives except his big day!

I’m not one of those people who loves planning celebrations. It overwhelms me. However, there are people who LOVE it and are GOOD at it – my sister Krista is one of those people. (If you have a big celebration to plan and don’t know what to do, FIND a person who loves this stuff! It’s SO amazing at the creativity people like my sister have!)

When I told Krista that I didn’t have much planned for Ted‘s birthday, she went into ‘overdrive.’ She suggested so many amazing ideas. Most needed more than three days to come together – but we were able to come up with a perfect day in Chicago for him – including an overnight stay at her friends gorgeous Chicago lakefront condo!

So, we scheduled family and babysitters to watch our kids, and on Ted’s 40th birthday, we headed into the City.

My sister, Krista, and me! Look at that amazing view from the condo!

First, we just took some time to enjoy the fabulous condo, then went to explore the beautiful city.

We started near Soldier field …then walked around

Buckingham Fountain…

the Crown Fountain…

and the Bean…

By this time, we needed some food. There was a hotdog stand close to the Bean, but they were all out of Chicago dogs. When in Chicago, you must try a Chicago dog!!!

We walked into Garrett’s to try some of their amazing popcorn – a Chicago favorite!

We kept walking all the way down Michigan Avenue, until we reached Sprinkles cupcakes. Sprinkles makes the world’s best cupcakes!

Krista says that Sprinkles cupcakes are proof that God loves us.

After enjoying every single bite of those cupcakes, we walked along Lake Shore drive.

After walking a few minutes, we found DIVVY Bikes to rent and road all the way back to where we were staying near Soldier field. It.was.BEAUTIFUL! We stopped riding for a few minutes when we reached Adler planetarium because from this spot, we could watch the glorious sunset over the City and Lake Michigan.

With Divvy Bikes, you can pick them up and drop them off at any of their locations around the city, so we parked them in a spot near our condo and went for a swim in the pool. Then we got ready for dinner.

For one of the BEST meals you’ll ever eat in Chicago (and quite possibly the best meal you’ll ever eat anywhere), go to Girl and the Goat. I love eating with Nate And Krista because they love food like I do! The dishes at Girl in the Goat are small, so that allowed us to order more than one dish per person – so between the four of us, we ordered a LOT of food!! Every dish, every bite, was delicious! My top 5 favs were the halibut, the chickpea fritters, the pork shank, the “pig face” and the goat loin. Oooh sooo good!!!

The chef/owner of “Girl and the Goat” (Stephanie Izard) was the first female winner on Top Chef and has two other restaurants that I now want to try – The Little Goat and an Asian restaurant called Duck, Duck Goat.

After dinner, we went back to the condo and spent the night in our room that had floor-to-ceiling windows of the city! Uh-mazing!

It was a perfect day in Chicago husband, sister and brother-in-law!

We continued the celebration the next evening with dinner at The Turf Room (one of our favorite restaurants in the Chicago Suburbs) with some dear friends!

Dinner at The Turf Room. I’m holding a gift that my friend Lisa made for our new home.

PS – If you are going to Chicago and have more than one day to spend in the city, here are some additional ‘bucket list items’ I would recommend:

get a Chicago stuffed pizza from Giordano’s!
go see a Chicago Cubs game in the historic Wrigley field
go to Soldier field for a concert or football game
Take a ride on the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier
Take an architectural tour by boat through the city
Visit the Sky Deck
Drive north along Lake Shore Drive and Sheridan to Evanston for a gorgeous view of the lake on one side and stunning old homes on the other. Explore Northwestern University. You can even continue driving north on Sheridan into the quaint town of Winnetka to see the Home Alone house.

Leave me a comment with your Chicago recommendations!

August 28, 2018 By Kathryn

5 In Joy/ Marriage

40 reasons…

Happy 40th Birthday Ted! You live a life worth CELEBRATING!

Ted and Luke

Here are 40 reasons I love you:

Your integrity
Your work ethic
You’re hot!
You are strong
You love me well
You are an amazing dad!
You draw the best out of people
You are articulate and an excellent communicator
Your love for reading and learning
You are a great teacher and coach
You are inspiring
You are a strong leader
You’re a man of God
You’ve got a great sense of humor
You are loyal
Your smile
You are a protector – you make me and our boys feel safe when we are with you
You are an encourager
You have a superb memory
Your knowledge and understanding of Scripture
Your love for your family and friends
Your healthy eating and lifestyle
You are an excellent writer and a published author!
You work hard and are a wonderful provider
You are a great listener
You are thoughtful and have self-awareness
You is good…You is kind…you is important (You really are, I’m not just quoting a line from a movie)
You are handsome (did I already say that?)
You are helpful – when you see a need, you jump in and get it done
You are organized and prepared
You are the best laundry folder!
You are intelligent
You are Interesting and insightful
You chose me and keep choosing me, day after day, year after year
You are a man of conviction and stand up for your values
You are not afraid of a challenge
You get the most out of life and encourage others to do the same
You have earned my respect and the respect of others
Everyone who knows you, loves you!
You make this world (and my world) a much better place!!

Leave a comment for Ted on my blog or on Facebook – letting him know what you love about him! Let’s shower him with love today!

August 8, 2018 By Kathryn

7 In Family/ Marriage/ My Journey

The Story of Us – Our engagement story

It was Father’s Day 2001.

My step-mom Deb was so excited to get to the lake that afternoon.

“We are surprising your dad with a sailboat for Father’s Day!” she said.

My dad loves to sail and I was excited to see his reaction to this Father’s day gift.

We piled in the car and headed to Grand Lake after lunch.

As we were walking down the pier, my step-mom smiled and said, “There’s the boat!”

I was confused. It wasn’t a sailboat. It was a large white boat with a banner across the side that read:

Kathryn, will you marry me?

Love forever, Ted

I stood there in shock. Reading it. Re-reading it. Looking around at the smiling faces of my family, then reading it again.

Finally, I see Ted walk out of the boat, step onto the pier, and get on his knee in front of me. He opened a little black box, revealing the prettiest diamond ring I’d ever seen, and asked the question every girl waits to hear …

“Kathryn, will you marry me?”

I covered my mouth with both hands in shock. No one had prepared me or warned me. Was this really happening?

And why hadn’t someone suggested I do my hair or wear a cute outfit on what would be one of the most memorable days of my life.

Ted asked again,

“Kathryn, will you marry me?”

I was speechless. I honestly couldn’t get words to come out of my mouth so I shook my head up and down – the only “YES” I could communicate in that moment.

He gently pulled my hand away from my face, put a ring on my finger and hugged me tightly.

My family cheered. Ted’s family and some of our friends came out of hiding and cheered.

There was no boat for Dad. (Sorry Dad!) This Father’s day he sacrificed HIS day for ME – to throw me off course and to be a part of an engagement surprise and celebration.

After hugs all around and a few pictures, our families left and Ted and I got to spend the day on the lake. He had rented the boat. So with the “Kathryn will you marry me?” banner still attached, we sailed off into the sunset…and celebrated one of our happiest days yet!

Click here to read the story of our wedding day!

Click here to read the story of how we met!

June 16, 2018 By Kathryn

2 In Family/ Making money/ Marriage

Six Tips for a Stronger Marriage

Help Friends! Today we have a special guest post. My good friend Corey is about to celebrate 25 years of marriage and is sharing what makes a great marriage. I hope you love this as much as I do!

“A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make…and you have to keep on making it.” – Gary Thomas

Hiya! I’m Corey. I’m a friend of Kathryn’s, a mom of two teen boys, a lover of dark chocolate, a scrapbooker, a recent transplant to Minnesota, and a wife who’s married to her high school sweetheart.

I met my husband, Jeff, on the first day of cross country practice in 10th grade. A couple of years later we started dating seriously and this summer we’ll celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. During those 25 years, we’ve had our ups and downs, moved around the country, faced serious injuries and illnesses, and discovered you can love each other more today than yesterday. In no particular order, here’s what I’ve learned about building a happy marriage:

1. One bank account.

All of our money, whether it’s my paycheck or a bonus he gets at work, goes into one account. We’re in this together and all our money is OUR money. It means that we have to agree on how to spend it and that’s a good thing.

2. A hobby or three.

We love seeing movies, camping, and playing board games. Right now we’re having a great time seeing Oscar nominated movies together and talking about who we think should win. (If you haven’t seen The Shape of Water, it’s unusual and beautiful). When our boys were little, they consumed most of our time and energy. As they’ve gotten older, it’s been important that Jeff and I have things in common to do and talk about that don’t revolve around our boys.

3. Agreed upon rules for fighting.

Ours: no name calling, no leaving the house, no dredging up past hurts. Jeff gets the credit for this and it’s made a world of difference. Disagreements are inevitable so knowing what’s in bounds and out of bounds makes sure that those fights don’t escalate or cause damage.

4. 10:1

There’s research that shows that you should offer your spouse ten times as many positive comments as negative ones. We notice the little things we do for each other and call them out every day. When Jeff stopped by the grocery store to pick up my almond milk yesterday, I thanked him and let him know it made me feel cared for. It’s easy to take each other for granted and remembering to express gratefulness for each other feels wonderful!

5. Different is good.

One of the things I loved first about Jeff is that he’s spontaneous and fun. One summer day in college, he came by my apartment on the spur of the moment to pick me up and spend the day at WaterWorld. It was so fun and unexpected! He loved that I’m planful and organized. When we moved from Colorado to Florida for grad school, I rented the moving truck, found us apartments to look at, and did research on our new home state. But over the years the very things that attracted us to each other inevitably drive the other one kinda crazy. He doesn’t put things back where he found them and I get stressed when things don’t go according to my plan. But when I’m facing a difficult situation and can’t see the solution, Jeff can often see it because he thinks differently than I do.

6. Build a support network.

Long term marriages are precious and rare. I’ve found it helpful to talk to other couples, particularly those who have weathered tough times. Over the summer I had a great opportunity to spend time with Kathryn’s in-laws, Kevin & Shirley, and they were generous in answering my questions about how they’ve kept their marriage strong. Marriages evolve over time and learning how other couples have handled challenges has been insightful.

I’d love to hear from you. What works for you? What have you discovered about how to have a great marriage?

February 26, 2018 By Kathryn