0 In 2025/ Minnesota/ My Journey/ Things to do in Minnesota/ Traveling

6 Down, 42 to Go: A Quest to Explore Every Carnegie Library in Minnesota

Recently, I set a goal to visit every Carnegie Library in the state of Minnesota. With my love for books, history, and travel – visiting Minnesota’s Carnegie libraries felt like a meaningful way to connect with my new home state. So far, I’ve been to six, and each one has a charm and story all its own.

Before I share more about my journey, I wanted to take a closer look at the man behind these libraries: Andrew Carnegie, whose generosity helped shape the public library system we know today.

–

Who Was Andrew Carnegie?

Andrew Carnegie was born in Scotland, in 1835, to a poor weaver’s family. When he was 13, his family immigrated to Pennsylvania. Young Andrew began working in a cotton factory to help support his family, earning just $1.20 a week.

Despite limited formal education, Carnegie had an intense desire to learn. A local man named Colonel James Anderson opened his personal library to boys on Saturday afternoons. This generosity had a big impact on Carnegie and sparked his lifelong belief that access to books could transform lives.

Carnegie went on to become one of the wealthiest men in the world through his steel empire, the Carnegie Steel Company, which he later sold to J.P. Morgan for $480 million in 1901. But what makes Carnegie truly remarkable is what he chose to do with his fortune…

–

Carnegie’s Library Legacy

Andrew Carnegie believed in what he called the “Gospel of Wealth” — the idea that the rich have a moral duty to use their wealth to benefit society. His biggest cause became building public libraries around the world.

Between 1883 and 1929, Carnegie funded the construction of 2,509 libraries around the world, including 1,689 in the United States. His goal was to give communities the tools for self-improvement through free access to knowledge.

In Minnesota, 66 Carnegie libraries were built between 1899 and 1918. Forty eight of these buildings still stand today, over 100 years later! Some still serve as public libraries, while others have been transformed into museums, community centers, or city halls.

Each one carries a piece of history: a reminder of a time when books were precious, education was a privilege, and a Scottish immigrant’s generosity opened doors for millions.

–

My Minnesota Carnegie Library Journey

So far, I’ve visited six Carnegie libraries in Minnesota. From small-town gems to city landmarks, every stop has made me appreciate this “quest” even more.

(Click here for the list I’ve been using to check off “Library Bucket list”)

Here’s a peek into the libraries I’ve visited:

–

1. Stillwater Public Library

My journey began at the Stillwater Library. It was so stunning that I left thinking, I need to see them all!

In 1901, Andrew Carnegie agreed to give $25,000 for a library building on condition that the city provide the land and commit to annual operating funds. Eventually, Carnegie’s total contribution reached $27,500 for the construction
Still used as a library.

–

2. Northfield Public Library

This library was built with a $10,000 grant from Andrew Carnegie and opened to the public in 1910.
Though it started small, Northfield more than doubled the square footage of their library in 1985 and it’s now 15,000 square feet.

–

3. Historic Duluth Public Library

One of 3 Duluth-Carnegie libraries.
Originally, the city solicited funding in 1899, and Carnegie pledged $50,000 for the library. Later the city requested additional funds, and Carnegie provided a total of $75,000.
Construction began in 1901; the cornerstone was laid on July 4, 1901 as part of Independence Day celebrations. The library officially opened on 1902.
Now used for office space.

–

4. Zumbrota Carnegie Library

The smallest Carnegie library in Minnesota.
In 1906, local library trustees applied to Carnegie. Local lore says their first request got no reply, so they resubmitted it along with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
The Carnegie grant awarded was $6,500, and the building opened in 1908.
The building served as the public library for 87 years, but is now a gift shop and community center.

–

5. Riverview Branch Library (Saint Paul)

One of three Carnegie libraries built in Saint Paul, and it serves the West Side.
It was built in 1916, designed by architect Charles A. Hausler (Saint Paul’s city architect).
It was one of the last Carnegie-funded libraries built in the U.S.
The library was nominated to the National Register of Historic Places in 1984 for its local importance in architecture and education.
The branch continues to function within the Saint Paul Public Library system.

–

6. Hosmer Library (Minneapolis)

Carnegie donated $125,000 to Minneapolis Public Library to build four branch libraries. Hosmer was the last of the four libraries built in Minneapolis, costing $27,700.
It opened in 1916.

–

What’s next?

I’ve only just begun this literary road trip, and I can’t wait to continue exploring Minnesota’s Carnegie libraries. Each one contains its own charm and story to tell. Is there a Carnegie library in your town? Send me a picture or an invite—I’d love to add it to my list!

Want to read more about Minnesota’s Carnegie libraries? Click here!

Thanks for reading and please consider subscribing!

Click here for a list of FREE things to do in the Twin Cities.

Click here for my Minnesota Bucket list!

Click here for a family guide to the the North Shore!

October 13, 2025 By Kathryn

0 In 2024/ Faith/ Inspiration/ Motherhood/ My Journey/ Parent Tip

Meditation: An antidote for anxiety!

With so much happening in the world, it’s easy to get caught up in anxiety. We may worry about our health, our future, our leaders, our families … or if we remembered to lock the front door this morning (spoiler: you probably did). However, there’s a tool that can help alleviate these worries: meditation.

When you think of that word, what comes to mind? Monks in robes chanting “Om” in a temple? While that’s one image, did you know that Scripture also encourages meditation?

The definition of meditation is simply to think about something over and over. Guess what? Worrying is also thinking about something over and over! So, if you can worry, you can meditate. It’s like turning a negative superpower into a positive one. It’s thinking about something that brings life vs. something that takes life.

Scientific research has proven that meditation done regularly (both morning and night) has a multitude of benefits. Guess what? Scripture tells us the same thing. Joshua 1:9 says, “meditate on the Word day and night.” Science and Scripture are basically BFFs.

The Bible also says that those who meditate day and night are like trees planted by the water, producing fruit, with leaves that don’t wither—whatever they do prospers (Psalm 1). Clearly, we should all aspire to be more like well-watered trees.

Studies from Harvard Medical School, Yale, and other prestigious institutions have documented the benefits of regular meditation:

Benefits of Meditation:

Lowered Blood Pressure: Meditation can lower blood pressure so effectively that 16% of patients were able to stop their medication altogether. (Just imagine the savings on pharmacy bills!)
Better Sleep: People with insomnia who meditated 15-20 minutes twice daily for two months reported improved sleep, with most reducing or eliminating their need for sleeping pills. Hello, sweet dreams!
Pain Reduction: Individuals with chronic pain saw a 42% reduction in doctor visits, and open-heart surgery patients experienced fewer post-op complications. Apparently, pain gets bored and leaves when we meditate.
Increased Brain Power: Meditation slows brain deterioration. So if you want to keep your brain sharp, keep meditating.
Reduced Anxiety and Anger: During meditation, the part of the brain responsible for fight or flight takes a nap, while the part responsible for peace, compassion, and happiness gets a wake-up call.
Decreased Depression: Meditation helps alleviate depression. Who knew sitting quietly could pack such a punch?
Boosted Self-Esteem, Concentration, and Relaxation: Meditation is like a multi-vitamin for your mind and soul.

Often, when I’m praying, I’m on the go—asking, talking, and rushed. This research challenged me to add another dimension to my prayers. One that Scripture encourages: “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

I’ve started setting a timer on my phone for just one minute (a baby step!). I sit in silence and breathe. I listen instead of speak. As a Christ follower, when I meditate, I think of God, His Word, and His benefits. This increases my faith, strength, and peace.

Other words you could meditate on include:

Peace
Love
Strength
Wisdom
Health

Just get quiet, allow yourself to breathe deeply, and think about the Word over and over. It’s fascinating that worry and meditation are basically the same thing (thinking of something over and over), but with very different outcomes.

Worry increases anxiety. Meditation, on the other hand, has been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety. Meditation is so simple, yet has powerful benefits. So, in these turbulent times, when your mind starts to worry… STOP and MEDITATE!

Book Recommedations:

“Reclaim Your Brain” by Dr. Joseph A. Annibali. A science-based book filled with interesting stories, data, and research on how the mind works.
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry By John Mark Comer. A faith based book with simple strategies to reduce hurry and increase peace.

Additional Meditation Practices:

Sit outside and listen. Find at least ten DIFFERENT noises before you move on.
Close your eyes and imagine God’s arms wrapped around you. Rest in God’s love, be present to him, slow down to let Jesus set the pace and agenda of our day.
Ask God a question and listen. Here’s a few ideas of what to ask: Is there anything you want to say to me today? Is there anything you want me to do today? Is there anyone you want me to bless today? What would be pleasing to you today, Father? What lies am I believing? What is the truth you want to replace that lie with?
List 15 things you are grateful for.
Slowly read a passage of Scripture and reflect.
Take a quiet walk without your phone.
Breathe in and out. BREATHE OUT negativity, stress, anxiety. BREATHE IN peace, love, and strength.

A Few Verses to Start your Day (Morning Meditation):

Here are three of my favorite verses to meditate on in the morning and speak before getting out of bed:

1. This is the Day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

2. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight. Psalm 19:14

3. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

A Few Verses to End your Day (Evening Mediation):

Here are a few verses I say to myself or with my kids before bed:

1. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

2. In peace, I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

3. May the peace that passes all understanding guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Click here for a beautiful evening meditation for a good night’s sleep.

Thank you for reading and happy meditating!

Click here to read how to find Joy with your 5 Senses

Click here for 7 tips for more JOY!

July 24, 2024 By Kathryn

0 In Faith/ Family/ Inspiration/ Memories/ My Journey/ Raising boys

9-1-1 Emergency: The Hunt for My Son

“This is 9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” the man on the phone asked calmly.

“I’ve lost my son,” I stuttered between heavy, anxious breaths.

Paul was only 4. We had finished shopping and I asked him to climb into his car seat while I loaded our groceries. When I came around to buckle Paul into his seat, he wasn’t there.

“Paul?” I asked. No answer.

“Paul?” I said a little louder. No answer.

I looked inside the car. No Paul. I looked under the car. No Paul. I did a lap around my car. No Paul.

My heart was beating fast. I’m trying not to panic.

“Did you see a little boy with a red shirt?” I ask a woman getting into a car nearby. She shook her head no.

“I can’t find my son.” I say to people in the parking lot. No one has seen him.

A lady kindly offers to watch my other kids while I search for Paul.

I run back into the grocery store while scanning the parking lot. I see cars leaving and hope that Paul is not in one them. “Has he been kidnapped?” I think, terrified.

I look inside the grocery store. No Paul.

The store manager sends staff out to help find my son and I decide it’s time to call 911, “What’s your emergency?”

“I’ve lost my son.” I respond, with panic in my voice.

While I answer the dispatcher’s questions, I suddenly remember to pray. I silently say, “God, you know where Paul is. Please show me what to do or where to look.” I pause, take a shaky breath and feel a prompt, “Go look in your car again.”

I’m still answering the dispatcher’s questions when I climb into my minivan to get a better look. I climb to the backseat, and look down onto the floor. That is where I found little Paul, curled up behind the back seat, hiding.

“I found him! I found him!” I cry to the dispatcher and to the kind woman still watching my other children.

The dispatcher tells me how happy he is and then reminds me to breathe.

I hang up, take a deep breath and ask Paul what he’s doing curled up in the back of the car.

“I’m playing hide-and-seek with you Mommy!” he says with a big smile.

“Paul, please tell me we are playing hide-and-seek BEFORE you hide next time! I thought I lost you and I was scared.”

“But you FOUND me mom,” he playfully responds, full of joy.

I give him a hug and buckle him into his seat. I thank the kind woman watching my other children and get them buckled in too. As I climb into my seat and turn on the car, I notice I’m shaking. I take some deep breaths and pause to thank God for keeping Paul safe and helping me find him.

_______

Reflecting on, and writing this story, brought up all the feelings from that day – both the horror and fear I felt as I frantically searched for Paul, and the relief of finding him and the joy of answered prayer.

More importantly, on this day I had a clearer understanding and appreciation of how Jesus Christ pursued me when I was lost. Though, like Paul, I did not know I was lost, He found me. In His presence I found peace, acceptance, joy, unconditional love, purpose and LIFE.

In the book of Luke, chapter 15, Jesus tells a story about a lost sheep. A lost sheep in the wilderness is doomed. It has no protection and it would be only a short time before the coyotes or other predators would attack and kill it.

The Bible calls Jesus our Good Shepherd and says we are His sheep. If we are wandering this earth without allowing Him to guide us, we are easy targets for the enemy’s attack.

Just as I searched for my son, this story emphasizes the Shepherd’s relentless pursuit of us. In fact, the story shares how the Shepherd left the 99 sheep in his flock to find the ONE missing sheep.

I left my other sons to search for Paul because of my love and care for him. Jesus, our Good Shepherd, seeks us, His lost sheep – a pursuit fueled by love. The story in Luke 15 says that the Shepherd had “exuberant joy” when He found the lost sheep. He carried it to safety with “careful delight” (Luke 15:5 TPT).

As a Christ follower, I understand that my connection with God is not a result of my own pursuit but a response to the Him seeking me. In life’s chaos, we often find ourselves lost and yearning for a connection, and it’s through faith in Jesus that we find direction, protection, and unconditional love.

As we navigate life’s twists and turns, please know that just like a loving parent, God is continuously seeking you, inviting you into the warmth of His love. May you be found by Him and rest in His warm presence and careful delight.

Prayer:

“Dear Jesus, thank you for pursuing me with your love. May I be found by you and follow you all the days of my life. May I pause and remember you throughout my day and allow you to lead me. You are the Great Shepherd who leads with love toward peace, joy, and fulfillment. Amen.”

Verses to consider:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for the sake of His name. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:1-4

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 41:13

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
Psalm 32:9

April 23, 2024 By Kathryn

2 In Faith/ Finding our place/ Inspiration/ My Journey

Light In The Dark: Trusting God When Life Feels Heavy

Lately, headlines have felt especially heavy. News of violence in schools, the shooting of Charlie Kirk, and so many other tragedies can leave us reeling, wondering how to hold hope in a world that seems so fragile. Pair that with the ordinary challenges of family, work, and everyday life, and it’s easy to feel discouraged or even numb.

Not long ago, I found myself in a difficult season—disheartened and worn thin. We had uprooted our lives once again, landing in a new state just as one of the coldest winters in years settled in. Friends were scarce, the days were short and gray, and sickness seemed to circle endlessly through our home. The demands of raising four energetic boys were high, but my energy was at an all-time low. I felt physically drained, emotionally weary, and increasingly isolated. As the weeks dragged on, I struggled to find purpose, motivation, or even a clear sense of who I was in this unfamiliar place.

I’m usually the person who’s positive, who sees the bright side … but I couldn’t in this season. What made it harder was comparing myself – to myself! The person I’d been just a year ago was so different than the girl I saw in the mirror.

The previous year was marked by remarkable growth and progress.

Then all of that changed. We moved to a new place. I no longer wanted to set goals, to write, and was living in (what felt like) Antarctica.

Isn’t life supposed to move up and to the right?

It was certainly moving to the ‘right’ as time continued its relentless march forward. The “up” part seemed elusive. Why had things shifted so drastically?

In my quest for answers and to regain a sense of equilibrium, I realized I needed to make some changes. It was time to unplug from the constant noise, to halt both the input and output, and just be. After all, we are human beings, not human doings.

I took a break from writing and blogging. I removed Facebook and Instagram from my phone. I unsubscribed from the podcasts that left me discouraged and overwhelmed.

Instead, I listened to positive music, I played with my boys, I prayed, read my Bible and a couple of life-giving books, and carved out time to make new friends.

To burst out of a cold, dark winter… Into the brightness and life of spring takes a lot of SHOVELING of gray thoughts that have become a blizzard in our minds… So thick we can’t even see our hands in front of our face.
Deb Freeman

Through this process, I learned a valuable lesson: Life doesn’t always follow a linear path. It ebbs and flows, bringing both good and challenging times. It oscillates between loneliness and fullness, happiness and sadness, ugly and beautiful.

The lows serve to deepen our appreciation for the highs.

Life is like a book. You take it one chapter at a time. Often one page at a time or one paragraph at a time. Some paragraphs are written better than others.

What I WANTED my life to look like was different from ‘reality.’

My previous assessment of life was a linear progression. Growth and more growth! Life and more life! Up and further up! Add, don’t subtract.

However, I’ve come to understand that ‘reality’ is far more complex. Life involves a series of steps forward, with occasional steps backward, sideways meanders, and even a few ‘loop-de-loops.’

In a world characterized by constant change, I’m thankful for a God who never changes. Who’s love is always certain.

I am deeply grateful for the nourishing wisdom found in the pages of the Bible, for the solace and inspiration that uplifting books and music provide. For the gift of prayer. My heart brims with gratitude for the friendships that have woven their way into my life and the ‘date nights’ shared with Ted. I’m grateful for the ways my boys make me laugh and how they teach me knew things. I love that nature soothes and time heals. Every day that passed made me stronger, more able to live in (and even love!) this new place.

Look for the good, even in the dark. Once you train your eyes for little glimpses of goodness, you’ll get better at seeing them.
Shauna Niequist

Each of these elements brought me back to a place of joy. In the midst of this journey, I rediscovered that my truest calling was wife, mother, and cherished child of God. All other pursuits, at this moment in time, occupy the periphery.

I am learning that seasons shift, but God’s love doesn’t. Even in the dark, He is steady, kind, and near. When we anchor ourselves in Him, we find the strength to endure and the courage to hope. If you’re walking through a heavy season, may you feel His presence holding you close.

______________________________________________________________________

If you’re walking through a tough season, here are two books and two devotionals that deeply encouraged me — maybe they’ll do the same for you.

Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole

I opened the book and instant tears as I read:

“Have you ever moved to a new place or entered a new environment where no one knew who you were, what you could do, or what dreams ignite your soul?”

Jesus’ hidden years gave him time to grow and become. It was sacred. Time for rest. Unapplauded but not unproductive.”

The author suggests how to rest:

“Take long walks through the woods. Paint a picture no one will see. Watch the stars. Wander through an art museum. Play piano when only God can listen. Write in your journal. Plant a garden.”

Savor the anonymous season. Respect it’s potential.
-Alicia Britt Chole

This book was everything I needed for that season. If you are in a “new, waiting, or starting over” season – Anonymous may be the perfect book for you!

I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working by Shauna Niequist

This book shares Shauna’s journey back to joy in the midst of some really challenging circumstances. Here are bits of advice she gives:

Get outside and be on the lookout for beauty, especially in nature, read books for comfort. Fresh air helps everything. The world is still good, still beautiful, still interesting and worth savoring. God is still good, still faithful, still kind.

Keep walking, keep loving, keep writing, keep praying. Keep learning, keep forgiving, keep apologizing, keep moving forward. Keep inviting, keep listening, keep opening my arms to all of life.

It doesn’t help to pretend everything is okay. Tell the truth. Allow yourself to be supported by friends and family.

I’m learning home isn’t singular. You don’t lose one, instead, your world and your heart expand with each new home and new set of experiences. The old ones stay and the new ones make your heart and your world bigger.“

I’m thankful authors who can eloquently put into words what I feel so deeply and can’t exactly articulate. They let me know I am not alone and brighter days are ahead.

Prevail by Susie Larson

This daily devotional is designed to guide readers through the entire Bible over the course of a year. Each entry includes a Scripture passage, insightful commentary, thought-provoking questions, and practical application steps. Here is just one powerful quote from this book

Take Back Your Life by Levi Lusko

This is a 40-day devotional that is PACKED with goodness and EXCELLENT book to read in a challenging season. Here are two powerful quotes from the author:

Thoughts are like trains, they take you somewhere. Instead of stopping a thought, REPLACE it. You have to actively FEED the POSITIVE and STARVE the negative.
God loves the people in your life so much that He put YOU in their lives. He gave you a means to communicate with them so they could be better off because they encountered YOU!

(Books are affiliate links)

These books brought me SO MUCH JOY as I realized I am NOT alone. Others have been through similar challenges and came out stronger. And God is always with me, cheering me on.

How about you? What sustains you during life’s challenging moments? Where do you find hope and support? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment by clicking on the little box by the title.

Want more?

Check out this post about how to have more JOY in your life.

Feeling Lonely? I was too. Read this.

Thanks for reading and please consider subscribing.

October 26, 2023 By Kathryn

2 In 2021/ My Journey

Why you gotta be so rude? Dealing with difficult people.

Have you had anyone be unexpectedly rude to you? Maybe a brash comment at the grocery store, a mean email, or an unkind text.

It happened to me recently and it HURT.

Someone sent me the most unkind email, filled with accusations and name calling. I was SHOCKED!

My emotions flared and I wanted to respond in anger. I had a few choice words I typed up and REALLY wanted to send. Instead, I hit delete.

I chose to NOT reply with an email, but instead, to talk to this person face-to-face.

I really thought we could talk, work things out, and come to an understanding.

Unfortunately, this person was very unkind to my face as well.

You’ve probably been in a situation like this. If not, you may be in the future. Even if you usually get along with everyone, occasionally there will be RUDE people who will shock you with how they talk to/treat you.

It’s a good idea to decide how to respond NOW, before you are in the heat of the moment.
.

After this happened to me, I thought it would be worthwhile to write about some of the best and worst ways to handle a situation or difficult person like this.

Here are recommendations for what to do and what NOT to do.

What NOT to do:

1. Don’t respond to unkind words with unkind words

This is hard. When I received the rude email, I wanted to respond with equally unkind words. I had to force myself to delete them. It feels good to write something equally unkind, but it DOES NOT HELP the situation.

2. Do not gossip about the person with other people

This is also hard. I wanted to share this person’s unkindness with everyone. I wanted to get others on MY TEAM. I wanted to justify myself.

Unfortunately, that only fuels the fire and gets people involved that do not need to be involved. It can make things a BIGGER issue than necessary.

Plus, being known as a person who talks negatively makes you lose respect with those with whom you are speaking. People begin to wonder if you are talking about THEM behind THEIR back.

If you MUST talk to someone, talk to a TRUSTED friend who is UNRELATED to the situation. I talked to my husband and he gave me a hug, validated my feelings, then helped me have compassion toward this person.

3. Do not try to get even or get revenge

After this person treated me so poorly, ideas of how I could get revenge raced through my head. (I’m human!!) Again, I took a deep breath and asked myself:

Will acting on this negative emotion help the situation? Will it move us toward a BETTER place?
.

What you should do:

1. Have compassion

When a person is mean, we must decide to respond with compassion. We have no idea how their day, their year, or their life has been, or what is causing them to act this way. Repeat the word, “compassion” to yourself (or in your head) as your emotions start to flare.

There is not an easy way to become more compassionate. We become more compassionate as we walk through the fire and practice extending compassion to people who have been rude or hurtful. Fluent compassion comes one decision at a time.

2. Try to connect with the person face-to-face. If that’s not possible, pick up the phone and make a call.

When you receive an unkind comment, text or email, it’s easy to want to respond with unkind words. HOWEVER, choose the high road, even if it causes elevation sickness.

3. Take a deep breath

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
Victor Frakl

When you are angry and wanting to say or do something unkind, take a deep breath to give yourself a moment to think/pray/pause. Taking a deep breath allows us to get out of fight-or-flight mode.

4. Speak and act kindly toward them

Once again – HARD! It’s easier to walk away or respond in anger. However, a smile and kind, calm words are often what is needed.

I find that asking God to love THROUGH me helps when I feel no love for a particular person. I ask for His help and His words when dealing with a difficult person or difficult situation.

5. Find something you can ALL agree on

When your emotional responses take the high road and line up with your best self, you kick off a virtuous cycle where your thoughtful responses to difficult people, in aggravating situations, actually make things BETTER!
-Tommy Newberry

When I tried to respond kindly, the other person continued to be mean. Ted came to the rescue and I watched/listened in fascination. He brought the conversation up above the current dilemma and found something we could ALL agree on…and coupled it with an assumptive close. The intent was to help us rise above the fight-or-flight mode, and find common ground. He said:

“I think we would all agree that we want a positive and friendly relationship going forward.”
.

Thankfully, we could all agree to that…and it brought some peace in this difficult conversation.

6. Pray for them

Every time I feel anger toward this person, I try to say a prayer for them. I’m not sure why this person was mean, but I will assume they’ve been hurt or are hurting, and could benefit from a prayer.

7. Find a mediator

Occasionally, the ‘unkind person’ is someone with whom you have an ongoing relationship. This is the time to find a mediator. Ask the person if they’d be willing to meet with you at a neutral place, where you could discuss the situation with a mediator. This outside person/mediator can help you understand each other and come to a resolution. You can find a mediator at your local church or counseling center.

8. Don’t let their unhappiness steal YOUR joy

If it comes down to experiencing JOY or experiencing the negative emotions we believe we deserve, what’s it going to be?
Tommy Newberry

This person’s rudeness completely stole my joy and made me cry. However, I didn’t stay mad. I felt the hurt, then I moved on. I did not hold on to those negative thoughts and emotions. The other person can choose to live with anger, but I will choose to live with joy.

I am CHOOSING not to dwell on the mean words, or take it personally, so that I can preserve MY joy.

Thanks for reading! Save this post and refer back to it as needed. Though I wrote these words, I’ve had to re-read them to remind myself how to continue to take the high road.

Is there something that helps you deal with rude people? Especially when it’s directed at YOU?! Leave a comment!

Thank you for reading, please consider subscribing.

An EXCELLENT resource in dealing with difficult people is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This is a book I could read or listen to every year. I feel like every person should have a copy in their library. Listen to it in the car:

Want more? Read 7 tips for more Joy.

Click here to read the story of a time when my son was getting bullied, and how the situation changed with one conversation.

July 7, 2021 By Kathryn

4 In Memories/ Motherhood/ My Journey/ Raising boys

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was approaching and as a mom of busy little boys, I was wishing for three things:

A clean house,
A little pampering,
A good night’s sleep.

I planned in advance so that Mother’s Day would be the best ever:

I scheduled someone to clean my house a couple days before Mother’s Day.
I invited a couple friends to meet me at the nail salon to get our nails done.
A good night’s sleep was very unlikely, but a girl can hope and dream, right? (pun intended)

Little did I know that it would be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mother’s Day/week.

Thursday morning a cleaning lady was to arrive at my house at nine am. I LOVED the idea of having a clean house for Mother’s Day weekend. I’d be able to play with my kids while someone else cleaned the toilets – YAY! What a gift.

The morning came and went, and no one showed up. I called and they had forgotten to add me to the schedule. No one would be coming.

I wasn’t going to have a clean house for Mother’s Day.

That’s okay…at least I’d get some time that night with some girlfriends and get my nails done!

Ted would take care of the boys after a busy day at work. He would put them to bed so I could have the evening with my girlfriends.

Well, traffic was really bad that night, and Ted got home late. The minute he walked in, I passed him the baby, and headed out the door.

I rushed into the nail salon and found my friends already getting their nails done. I sat in an open chair next to them.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” the manager said, “we are closing in 15 minutes and aren’t doing any more nails tonight.”

My heart sank. No pretty nails for Mother’s Day.

I chatted with my friends while they finished getting their nails done, and we walked out together as the salon closed. We weren’t done talking, and it was cold and raining outside, so I suggested we sit in my car to carry on our conversation. We chatted for another hour and then I tried to start my car – it was completely dead.

Unfortunately, none of us had jumper cables and we could not call our husbands to help. They were all home with sleeping children.

We looked around for a kind person who may happen to still be out on this cold, dark, wet night. We spotted one person. I asked him for help and miraculously (like an angel!?), he came over with jumper cables, started my car, and we all made it home safely.

Friday morning I got up early. I had a Mother’s Day Tea to attend and wanted to have time to take a shower and put on nice clothes. I got myself ready, then got each of the boys ready. As I was putting our baby into his carseat to leave… he spit up all over me. All through my hair, down my shirt, my skirt, and onto my shoes.

I frantically searched my closet to find another outfit to wear, quickly wiped the spit up out of my hair, and raced into my first Mother’s Day Tea … just in time.

Around 3 AM on Mother’s Day morning, I woke up to the sound of Clark crying. I went in to check on him. He had thrown up – all over himself, his pajamas, and his bed.

This wasn’t the Mother’s Day morning or good night’s rest I had hoped and wished for.

In fact, I decided it was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Mother’s ~~Day~~ … week!

I lifted Clark out of the messy bed, gave him a warm bath, and put him in clean pajamas. I changed his sheets, tucked him back into bed, said a prayer, and rubbed his back until I thought he was asleep.

I crept out of Clark’s room, thinking about how tired I was, and that I’d probably only get another hour or two of sleep before the baby woke me up, when I heard the sweetest words:

‘Happy mudder’s day, mama.”

In spite of Clark being sick and tired, he somehow remembered that it was Mother’s Day.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that my FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS had blinded me to my FIRST WORLD BLESSINGS!

In spite of how bad things are going, we can find something to be grateful in every situation.

My house may be messy, but it’s warm and it’s ours.
My nails might not be painted, but my hands are strong enough to hold and care for my children.
My car might have died, but I have a car to take my kids where we need and want to go.
My kids are healthy. When they spit up/throw up – I have extra clothes and sheets – and a washing machine and dryer to clean the laundry.
I have a husband who cares for me and our boys so that I can get away to be with girlfriends.
I have friends that sit and chat with me. Then they stayed with me, in the cold rain, until my car got started again! And bonus – they are friends who encourage me to be a better wife and mom. (PRICELESS!)
And the biggest blessing of the week…I GET to celebrate Mother’s Day because I have children!

Now that I look back on all my Mother’s Days…this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mother’s Day, was actually my favorite one. It allowed me put things in perspective and see the gifts and blessings I so easily take for granted.

When I began focus on my blessings, I realized that this was a …

WONDERFUL, fantastic, so good, very blessed Mother’s Day!

Don’t let 1st world problems make you forget your 1st world BLESSINGS!

And by the way, while I tried to plan the perfect Mother’s Day week – Ted planned a really sweet Mother’s Day.

He got me flowers. He had the boys color me pictures. He picked up some delicious food so I didn’t have to cook. He told me to get away for a few hours to read and relax.

While I was gone, not only did he take good care of the boys – the house was clean when I got home!!

It really was a WONDERFUL, fantastic, so good, very blessed Mother’s Day!

What about you? What gift might you be taking for granted? Do you have a favorite Mother’s Day memory? Leave a comment.

Please consider subscribing.

Thanks for reading! You may be interested in this related post: Finding Joy in the Motherhood in the Mess

May 7, 2021 By Kathryn

0 In 2019/ Book Review/ Faith/ My Journey

How Muslim culture influenced my Christian parenting

Read to the end for a chance to win a free book!

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Quresh

I recently read the book Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus and was deeply impacted by the way Muslim parents instill their faith into their children.

Muslim mothers begin reading from the Quran each and every day, out loud, to their children from the time they are born.
Often the FIRST book their children read is the Quran.
Children memorize large portions of the Quran.
Muslim families are a part of a strong Islamic community.

Their Islamic beliefs are often so engrained that they do not even QUESTION whether their faith is based on truth. Instead, they carry on the same beliefs and traditions with their children – reading from, teaching, and memorizing the Quran from infancy to adulthood.

This book left me asking if I’m teaching my children about the Christian faith as passionately and faithfully as Muslim parents.

As I read further into the book, the author (Nabeel Qureshi) shares how he became best friends with a guy in college who was a Christian. The two of them had a mutual respect because of their strong faith in God. As they grew in their friendship, they began to challenge each other’s faith.

As Nabeel did research to defend his Islamic faith, he began to realize that he COULD NOT defend it. The more he studied, the more he realized that there was no truth behind his Islamic faith.

After lots of research, and even a prayer for the one true God to reveal Himself, Nabeel chooses to become a Christ Follower!

This book challenged me as a mother to teach my kids the WHY behind WHAT we believe.

We have a defendable faith.

Our Christian faith is based on a solid foundation of historical truth.

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus made me decide to read:

Talking with your kids about God, written by Natasha Crain.

The author covers the evidence for the existence of God, how science confirms the God of the Bible, the nature of God (love, and justice), how Christianity is different from other religions, and how all these things apply to us and the world around us.

If you want to talk to your children about why Christianity is true, or you just need to solidify your own worldview, I highly recommend this book!

I want to read this author’s other book, Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side: 40 Conversations to Help Them Build a Lasting Faith, next!

Click here to check out her awesome blog – Christian Mom Thoughts.

~~I’m giving away my copy of Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus. If you’d like to win this book – just share this post on Facebook!~~

The contest runs until November 25th, 2019.

WINNER – Lisa E. – Congratulations Lisa!

I’ve written a post with some simple tips for teaching your kids about God. Click here to read!

Subscribe so you don’t miss a post!

The books recommended are Amazon Affiliate Links. If you choose to purchase one, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

November 18, 2019 By Kathryn

3 In Motherhood/ My Journey/ Raising boys

The struggle with housekeeping…

Oh how I wish I were tidy.

I love it when my house is clean. I feel more relaxed and enjoy my home more when I see clean surfaces and organized rooms. What I want and what I have (most days) seem opposite.

Housework can make me feel like I’m drowning. If I stop and reflect on all that I need to do to have a spotless home (from a clean fridge to clean closets), I feel overwhelmed.

When I cook, my kitchen is a hurricane. I was mortified the other day when a neighbor walked in and saw the mess. I was too humiliated to even apologize.

I feel guilty hiring someone to help – I shouldn’t need to because I don’t have a ‘job.’ I should have time to keep up with it all. But I’m struggling.

If any of you text and say, ‘I’m coming over in an hour’ … I will spend the next hour cleaning because I want you to think I always keep my house clean. I don’t clean to be hospitable, but for my own darn pride.

I visited a friend in Nashville once and when I walked into her house she said, ‘It’s not always this clean, I just had a housekeeper here.’ Her honesty was refreshing.

Another friend invites me into her home anytime …messes and all. She doesn’t apologize for it or expect me to have my house clean when she comes over.

Then there are the friends who always seem to have SPOTLESS houses. How? I want my house to look like that too!

I realize that I’m in a season of life that is busy and messy. My kids will grow up and (perhaps) I’ll miss the fingerprints, crumbs, and dirty socks.

I’m a person who would MUCH rather play than clean. If there’s a choice between a game or a chore – pass me the cards. If I have to choose between an adventure or dishes – Um, bye!

I can go from one activity to the next without cleaning up first. I think: ‘I will do it tonight.’ But then I’m too tired at night! I’m (slowly) learning to pause between activities and allow time to clean up. I’ve recently found an easy way to implement “chores” so that my boys carry some of the load. Click here to read about it.

I honestly don’t want to publish this post because it’s making my heart race putting this out there. However, I want to be more real and less prideful. I need to invite you into the mess.

I want to clean for the sake of hospitality, and with gratitude for the beautiful home God has blessed me with..not because I want you to think I’m a superwoman.

Feel free to come by un-announced. Walk into the kitchen, scan the fridge and ask to use the upstairs bathroom…it will humble me. Or, ask for a cleaning rag. I’m happy to let you help make my house as clean as I want it to be.

If you are a mom who’s figured out the secret to keeping the house tidy…send me all the tips!

PS – Since writing this post, I have found a housekeeper that comes once a month. She’s way better than the previous one (me).

Click here to read: Three Cheers for Chores

July 19, 2019 By Kathryn

2 In Colorado/ Colorado Springs/ Faith/ Inspiration/ Joy/ Memories/ Moving/ My Journey/ Peek into our Week/ Things to do in Colorado/ Traveling

My Volunteer Vacation

One year ago, New Life Church was hosting an amazing children’s/family ministry conference called The Gathering. It was during this conference that my husband accepted a job with Target, which meant we’d be moving to Minnesota.

I love Colorado, and I also loved working with this team at New Life. I was struggling with the idea that this chapter would be ending soon.

On the last night of the conference (last year), each person who helped lead the conference was given a box of cereal from Dr. Michelle Anthony – my (former) boss and Family Ministry Pastor. She gave me a box of S’mores and told me that she would like S’more of me. It took everything in me not to burst into tears right then. Just a couple days later, I’d be sharing the news that we’d be moving and she’d be getting S’less, not S’more.

I went home from the conference and shared how I was feeling with Ted. He encouraged me to come back to the conference in 2019 and volunteer.

So this year, I went to Colorado for a Volunteer Vacation! I came to assist, learn, and connect with my New Life friends!

When I first arrived in Colorado Springs – tears filled my eyes. This city has such a special place in my heart, and I was so happy to be back.

The morning of the conference, I drove over to New Life Church with my friend Holly, and helped with the last minute details. All morning I was greeted with love and hugs from friendly faces. It was pure joy.

Because my kids weren’t with me, I got to focus my whole week helping wherever needed … AND catching up with SO many dear people. I loved every minute of it.

In a season of all things new, spending several days in a place that holds so much familiarity & treasured relationships, felt like a well-timed gift.

Though I didn’t sleep much, I came home from my Volunteer Vacation refreshed and full.

If you have some vacation time coming up and aren’t sure what to do – consider a “Volunteer Vacation!” Take the opportunity to go somewhere and help with something. Every non-profit organizations can use an extra set of hands. And when you make time to bless someone or something, you always get blessed in return!

Here is an (affiliate) link to a book filled with ideas on short term adventures that will benefit you and others!

July 9, 2019 By Kathryn

9 In Minnesota/ Motherhood/ My Journey/ Things to do in Minnesota

How to Not HATE Winter!

I’ve hated winter my entire life.

In fact, I’ve never fully enjoyed FALL because I knew that winter was lingering just around the corner.

The day after I graduated high school – my first day of ‘freedom’ – I moved from my home state of Indiana to Florida to avoid winter. I spent five glorious years there – THAWING OUT. I also earned my bachelor’s degree…but mostly just enjoyed the warmth and sunshine.

After college…life kept moving me north…and further north.

When my husband and I talked about moving to Minnesota, I’m not sure if I cried or laughed when I discovered that moving to Minneapolis is NORTH OF Toronto, CANADA! Okay, I cried. I literally cried.

–

I didn’t know much about Minnesota when we moved here, just that it was cold. Really, really cold. Have I mentioned I hate the cold?

But eventually I decided I didn’t want to live in survival mode anymore. Winter isn’t just a season here, it’s a big part of life. And I was tired of dreading it. So little by little, I’ve learned not to hate winter.

To make that mindset shift, I started reading, researching, and asking anyone who would talk to me how to not just survive winter – but actually thrive in it.

It is possible to not hate winter!!

Winter can actually be…dare I say it…DELIGHTFUL!?!?!

–

So …

HOW do you ENJOY winter? Even a really COLD, really LONG winter?

Here is what I’ve learned:

1. DRESS FOR IT!

I realized that I hated being COLD more than I hated winter. If I wear the right things…I can begin to ENJOY winter!

My sister gave me a fur-lined trapper hat and it is heavenly. Thank you Krista!

I went shopping on Amazon and bought a hat for every person in my home. We LOVE them!

It was in Kindergarten that I was taught to wear a hat on cold days, and all these years later…I finally learned that my kindergarten teacher was right.

Even the ornaments know how to dress to be warm in winter.

–

2. ENJOY DOING THINGS THAT CAN ONLY BE DONE IN WINTER!

Go sledding, skiing, ice skating! Make snowmen, snow angels, and snow slushies!

Learn how to do things that you can only enjoy in winter.

When your kids ask to go sledding, say YES and then JOIN THEM. You won’t believe how much fun you’ll have. I know, it takes lots of effort to get everyone bundled up, but it’s worth it! You will feel like a kid again – laughing and enjoying every second. Sledding down and then climbing back up those hills is great exercise and invigorating.

Ice skating and snow skiing are fun winter sports.

Even taking a walk on a cold winter day can be amazing. Just after it snows, put a child on a sled and go for a walk – it’s good for you and great fun for them!